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Gypsy
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Preparing for a guilt-free life after the death of a parent..

This is a very touchy topic. Many people in this community would have experienced the sad demise of a parent. I have experienced this with my dad, and my mom is already 85 years ( and healthy). But its a reality I have learnt to prepare for. The greatest way to prepare for such an occurrence is to do everything possible, so that you don't have to feel guilty later on. A mature way is to ask the parent, about what are their main requirements from you at this age / from life at this age.. Discuss what's possible and what is not. And once you finalize on the list, go about completing each activity, task by task, and give daily updates to the parent, so that they get a sense of achievement and also a sense of leadership. Ensuring that our parent has a happy ending, and ensuring that we don't have to live in guilt is perhaps good for both, and for the family well-being. There are cases, where children and parents are no longer in touch. OR there are other cases, where the parents have already passed away, but there is still a lot of guilt. In both case, list down the things which were important for each parent, and actually go and contribute your time, effort and money in those areas. It could be a donation, or a charity or helping youngsters or helping animals. Try to connect to the parent, through some activity, which they would have loved to do, had they been alive. The whole process of thinking about this, devoting time on this, and achieving reasonable success, will ensure that the universe feels their presence, and will help you to dissolve most of the guilt you have had till date. Do try this. Ive done this, and this is one of the main reasons, I am almost guilt free with regard to my parents life.

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