AITA?

Question

My big brother and I have been close for 30 years, but recently we’ve had a falling out. Over the years he has had multiple relationships, a few of them *nearly* created children. Some of these relationships were held simultaneously, so he’s cheated on multiple women. None of these relationships lasted longer than a year or two max. 
I never said anything about these relationships to him because it wasn’t my business to comment, unless he asked my opinion on some of these girlfriends, which he did on occasion. I would meet a girl for a few hours and never see her again, knowing they likely had an abortion and broke up. But I never heard my mother criticize him for it.
I had one boyfriend in my 31 years and I have 1 child with him. I married my child’s father but that marriage dissolved within 5 years. For that, I was scorned by my mother on the day of my child’s birth and given an ultimatum to divorce my husband or leave. I haven’t had a relationship in almost 6 years.

Recently my brother met another woman. He introduced us and asked me if I liked her. I said I thought she was cool but I knew that this only meant he was going to repeat his bad habits. I wanted to hang out with her more often so In order to connect more, I reached out multiple times to invite them to holiday dinners, parties and outings, but they kept declining my invitations and eventually, ghosted me all together. It was evident that their relationship was falling apart already and my brother was back to his old ways, noncommittal and unfaithful.
Since that point they’ve broken up, and she’s going to give birth to my nephew any time now, my big brothers FIRST child carried to term. She suddenly reached out asking me to attend her baby shower. But I declined and haven’t spoken to her or my brother since. The anger I have toward him for creating single mothers is indescribable - especially since his father wasn’t in his life either. (He’s my step-brother)

he’s already decided to leave both her, and his unborn son, while she’s taking maternity photos alone, he’s on vacation in San Diego.

Am I wrong for cutting them out of my life?

Shelby · Accepted Answer

I don't think you're wrong at all for cutting your brother off, however, I think cutting off the mother of your nephew is more of a grey area. On the one hand, you don't really have an obligation to befriend her or anything, but if she hasn't done anything wrong then I think it would be the right thing to try and support her during this tough time :)

Emilse · Answer

You tried. But You arent your brothers "mom" to educate/form/change. He knows how to make his own bed... If you want to have contact with your nepew is fair that You make contact and support the mother. And I hope your bro is paying child support without tryng to elude it too.

Family is build up in feelings, not blood/political bonds. No remorse. Also you have more than enough with your own life to be babysiting your bro

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