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psychology

Does anyone else feel there's some part of what makes you human dying with every new conversation?

The algorithm

Literally what my week felt like..I'm glad it's Friday🥴

T.G.I.F

No one measures the beauty of a flower by its size. Similarly, a person's worth should not be measured by external achievements. Yes, it is nice to have achieved something! And yet - if the roots are lost, this joy can quickly end.

The beauty

Perfect checklist: green flags

It's up to u on what u choose

I hate my parents because they ruined my psyche. I will be 29 this year and I am still afraid of serious relationships and have not been in a relationship for more than a year, I still perceive men as people with from another planet. I had psychotherapy for almost 4 years (irregularly) with a female psychologist, but It is still difficult to build relationships with men. Childhood traumas can still bother me, although in many ways I am better off. I don't know how to live on, sometimes I don't want to live at all because life  It seems too complicated. My mother doesn't really have any interests in life, hobbies, she wants me to call her every day and tell her that I'm fine, but it really annoys me because I'm not her property.And I don't like communicating with her, our communication is empty and superficial, she can shout, pour out her negative emotions, anxieties on me, ask about all the details of my life, and I can still to feel afraid that some of my words will simply kill her, that she will stop communicating with me forever and will turn other relatives against me, although our communication has not brought anything particularly good into my lifeSometimes I think it would be good just not to exist in this world at all, not to worry about many things, that it seems like my destiny is to serve my mother's anxieties, although I am not actually her psychologist and exactly not her mother. Sometimes I think it's better to cut her out of my life, but she's not 100% a monster and I'm still take care, is she alive or not. And I have a very small hope that maybe our communication will get better. And unfortunately, I don't have confidence that I can cope with life without her in general.  I don't know exactly why I wrote all this, I just don't have anyone to discuss it with right now, I want to feel like I'm not alone in this, I'm really tired because of my mother. Maybe someone has stories of how they set strict boundaries with their Toxic parents. Or stopped communicating with them, but feel happy without them. 

Sorry, my English is not perfect.

Toxic parents, mom with narcissism

It's all in your head.

Food for thought 🧠💭

Brain: you're worthless.
Me: oh yea? Show me the proof.
Brain: .........
Me: SHOW ME THE PROOF
Brain: source: just trust me, bro.

How Depression works

Just got back from a date

When I tried to kill my demons, I did not realize—
 I was murdering parts of my own soul. They were never "demons".
 They were "unattended emotions", howling at the door of my consciousness. 

"Misunderstood desires", pounding on the walls of my morality.

 "Stuck frustration", rotting in the cellar of my patience. 

"Pain", folded into the corners of my memory like cursed origami. 

I labeled them "evil". But they were just "me"— the parts that refused to kneel to the dictatorship of "should."

The Truth About Demons:

1. They are your disowned selves.
    - The child you abandoned.
    - The rebel you handcuffed.
    - The lover you exiled for being "too much."
2. They will not leave.
    - You can starve them, shame them, lock them in theological prisons.
    - They will only grow louder, angrier, more desperate.
3. They are here to heal you.
    - Your rage? A call to boundaries.
    - Your lust? A demand for creation.
    - Your sadness? A map to depth.

How to Love a Demon:

1. Stop exorcising. Start listening.
    - Sit with it. Ask: "What do you need?" (It will lie at first. Keep asking.)
2. Give it a job.
    - Turn your rage into art.
    - Turn your obsession into study.
    - Turn your fear into humor.
3. Let it rewrite the rules.
    - Your demons are older than your morals. They know things your ego has forgotten.

A Prayer for the Demon-Tamer:

"God, grant me the audacity to love what I’ve been taught to fear. Let me befriend my shadows, not because they are holy— but because they are mine. And what is owned, cannot own me."

Demons: To whom it may concern (which is everyone)

📌

Love it

Lonely human...

So i am an anxious attachment and the person i started a relationship with is definitley a strong Avoidant attachment person i havent been in a relationship for about 10 years where as she as of 6 months ago ended a 3 year relationship. I'm studying on how we can healthily make this work but my anxiety goes awol because she doesnt respond to messages and in person she is very hesitant with any answer even when i try to be direct we were great as friends and it seemed great but now we are in a relationship it seems shes withdrawn/disconnected do i keep trying to make this work and try to use the therapy advice and sharing that with her so she has an understanding like this is who we are and this is what we have to do to make this work and we can grow together or my thought because i havent been in a relationship in such a long time and the anxiety just becomes overwhelming to where i just want to run and not look back but i genuinely care for her and its not that im trying to "save" her i just dont want to be another person who makes her feel abandoned im confused im lost I fell in love with my friend and idk what to do but to continue learning i know if i push to far she will feel attacked and go into self preservation and end the relationship sonimnnot sure what else to do to help myself. Other than wait for her to feel invited again like when we were friends she didnt seem so avoidant but it has definitly come out since. Is a direct this is what i expect and need (communication attention and some affection) more frequently please. To much or is that pushing. Because hours in between texts and the feeling of the silent treatment in person just make my brain go crazy which ive started journaling and that is kinda helping but anyways this is alot. Any advice?

Advice

Their hearts just came with extra sensitivity - Are you an overthinker?

Important

Let go

Someone asked me, " how are you so calm. Like nothing bothers you?"

I replied, " because everything I was afraid of happening.....happened "

😎

Who agrees? 🖤🖤🖤

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates
Is it true?
Is it necessary ?
Is it kind?

🙌

I can share my own experience.
And you will never hear me saying "it's easy, everybody can !".
Because i know it is not.
Plrasz feel free to share your own xp after reading.

When i's a teenager, everybody was smoking cigarettes. 
We even hide at the bottom of the garden, as child, to smoke cigarillos like adults would.
At middle and high school, only a very few weren't smoking at all.
And an astoudingly high amout of young people were smoking cannabinoïds. Higher consumers usually stopped high school or later because of that.
I knew some people that went crazy because of that.
Uncontrolable paranoïa, delirum, tantrum.
Nearly none of those consumers escaped those behaviour.
So, even if I did not really participate, you know how it is : evening with friends, and you are passive consumer whether you want it or not.
So even if I wasn't a weed consumer, i still had my load of cigarettes through my lungs, and a little more.
Mostly because it was included in some kind of ritual.
You do it, you need it, you share it.
Intrinsic component of group life.
But it happened that I stopped, very suddenly.
Walking with comrades, no cigarettes, asking friends if they have some. None had left. And no money.
It did get le angry, and said "i'm not going to allow this to control me anymore !".
And I stopped. I believe it was in 2001 or 2002.
The process are quite strong, when the brain ask nicotines, and you have to manage yourself. 
Fortunately, everybody survived then ! 😂
I usually managed well my emotions, whereas some friends did not.
But i remember when people were smoking at shop entrances. I's like "go smoke somewhere else !", in a very agressive tone. 🤭
Laws were against those rude people, as it was then forbiden (fortunately !) to smoke in public places, shop included. And smoking at entrance is like smoking inside the shop, as smoke always got inside.
One time, a guy, particulary unconscious, menaced me to hit me because I asked him politely to smoke farther from entrance, explaining why. I can tell you i have a big voice. I can feel fear but no one is threatening me or my people. Back then i could've become dangerous. Plus the nicotine addiction generating adrenaline ! 😂
I yelled at this poor fool, and he nearly peeed his pant.
Let fall down his cigarette and said something like "i... i... i'm sorry, i won't do it again ... 😨".
I can tell the satisfaction feeling when people finally understand and then try to respect others.
Too bad sometimes we have to shake them a little.

Well, i learned to deal with this feeling of lack induced by cigarettes. I once smoked again a bit because of a girlfriend (long story), but else, i never needed it again.

To be precise, I'm a calm and cool guy.
People just have to be kind and respectfull between each other, and everything will be ok.
If some people are not able to do so, i usually try to calm thel down.
And if they are really crazy, and speaking is useless, i leave the place, when I have no obligation to stay.
It only happened a very few time, though.
And always when facing paranoïd guy that was saying nonsense without any proof, and a weed smoker. Not by coïncidence.

Willpower is how you can manage what is hard to deal with, and take decisions against your own needs, feelings, emotions, ego.
As for courage exists when fear is, willpower exists when potentialy uncontrolable emotions are.
To be able to express a strong emotion, and say something like "i'm sorry, i'm feeling angry, and i need to breath a little bit" can also be considered as willpower.
You aknowledge your emotion, and do what it takes to choose what to do with it. Let it express, or appease yourself.

Did you have experiences that induced willpower, on the one hand that you lose, or one the other hand that you win ?

For example, you wanted to talk to this special someone, but so many fearq are overwhelming you. Willpower will give you the courage to do it, so you win. If you did not find what it takes to talk to this person, then you lose.
It often happened that i lost at it. And will certainly happen again.
But sometimes, i try to find the courage with some absurd logic, like "at the worse, you'll die", so i do it anyway, sometimes awkwardly, and sometimes keeping my composure and acting cool ! 😆
My stronger barrier is "am I going to be able to assume my decision or what may happen ?". 😵‍💫

Feel free to share your stories ! 🤓

Willpower is not a myth

Every damn time

I see a lot of females have psychology as interest which made me curious. What is it about psychology that made it your interest?

Just a thought

Just FYI: If you're a woman in your 30s or 40s and your idea of having a "strong personality" is putting down people/other women and insulting them, you don't have a 'strong personality", you're just a loud narcissist.

Edit: trolls and comments that have nothing to do with this post will be blocked:)

👏

We all wear masks. 
Warning! 
Extremely sincere post!

How many masks people wear?

Anything you lose by being real was fake

I personally think it’s really underrated, of course the point of a relationship is being together and doing stuff together, but if you’re not able to function independently you’ll probably make a mess together too
Also it’s healthy to have time for yourself, how do you think about this?

Independence in a relationship

What is something that is destroying humanity?

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Who is a fictional villain you sympathize with?

Mix of empathetic and careless behaviour ?

True story.
It often happened to me.
May be to you too ? 
Carelessly saying foolishness and stuff supposedly too big to be believable. (Or dark, crazy, sense of humor)
Then feeling the mood of friend, thanks to high level empathy.
Sensing emotions of friend (either sad, angry, annoyed...etc...)
And apologizing for trying to be funny, if I feel it wasn't welcome.

Indeed i'm often careless, because some things don't deserve to be sad nor angry about.
And i forgot that people are often sn0wfl4kes fantasizing reality, and not accepting hard truths, or even simple truths. And troubling themselves with thingy that either does not exists, or are frivolous, pointless, vain.

Some people accept their fate, and do nothing about it.
I don't say that I am doing everything I should to improve my own. I 'm not omniscient, even if curious about so many subjects. (And understand swiftly knowledge limits)
I just try to find ways to be happy. And feed my Soul, soul, and mind with good stuff.
This does not mean i always am happy.
But i try. Also accepting when I may not feel that good.
Injustices does makes me feel sad, though.
But that's because i'm able to face reality and its consequences, and then disapprove.
Being able to undertand and filter is quite an important skill each one should sharpen.


N.B. : i always distinct true Soul and incarnated soul.

Mix of empathetic and careless behaviour ?

Had such a big mental breakdown today. Would love to know how you personally deal with anxiety without the elements of spirituality. (I know it helps a lot of people and is such a great force to ease your anxiousness but unfortunately it didn't work out for me) :( 

I think personally for me music distracts me but doesn't help me fully. I try eating sweet too which sometimes ease things over but usually it's just me letting the really long attack pass. Talking to friends is a great way too. That's the only thing that seems to be working. 

Would love some tips on dealing with constant anxiety! 

#anxiety

How Do You Deal With Anxiety?

A Boo community for meeting other Psychology enthusiasts.

Psychology Community

The algorithm

T.G.I.F

The beauty

Perfect checklist: green flags

It's up to u on what u choose

Toxic parents, mom with narcissism

URGENTLY!!

But why though?

Books that talk about patriarchy

When selfish or self centered people are trying to help others ?

Don't

If no one ever told you what was possible or impossible, what would you dare to do?