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Infjproblems

infjproblems

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infj

In a very typical INFJ fashion, I had a whole moment when I thought someone sharing a very normal INFJ response might get attacked for being at low point. This happened:

INFJs are the rarest personality type; philosophical contradictions in human form, and we literally cannot help it.

We are intensely introverted yet natural caregivers. We have strong emotions and an even stronger intuition, but we often struggle to explain why we just know things. We’re usually too smart for our own good yet constantly feel misunderstood.

There’s likely a high rate of comorbid autism and ADHD among INFJs. We are people so fundamentally not normal that we mask without realizing it. And in doing so, we are always aware that we are playing a role; shifting our presentation to fit the moment. This makes us feel isolated, even when surrounded by people.

We are introverts who need space but also cannot be truly alone. We need to be alone with someone. We will sacrifice ourselves for others until we burn out, dangerously, self-destructively so.

And when that happens, we find we have no one to take care of us, because we always gravitate toward those who need us. When we finally break down, the very people who depended on us blame us for being weak.

We internalize this. We feel it deeply. So we learn: We are only valuable when we are of service. And when we need help, we know we’ll be turned away.

We crave being noticed but are terrified of rejection. We will almost never reach out. And when we do, we expect rejection, because we experience it frequently and intensely.

We love deeply. We love fully. And we always see that love breaking apart before it happens. We know what people will do before they do it. And that repeating cycle of knowing, of seeing the inevitable unfold, leaves us with deep, complex PTSD. So we isolate, for long stretches of time, over and over again.

And we know this, even if only instinctively.

We’re usually sorry for being a mess. We just want someone to say, “It’s okay. I love you, and I see you. Keep going. You’ll get through this. You always do. I’m here for you.”

So to any INFJ who read this to the end: I see you. I love you. You’ll get through this. You always do. There aren’t many of us, but you’re not alone. Keep going; it’s worth it. Someone wants to take care of you. And there is always someone who needs you. But at some point, you have to stop and let someone else take over, if only for a while. You’ll be all the better for it.

*Edited for clarity because I ramble a lot on first drafts.

#infj #infjs #infjproblems #adhd #audhd #autism #mentalhealth #depression #selfcare

The Weight of Knowing: An INFJ's Unspoken Struggle ❣️

Na vrlo tipičan INFJ način, imao sam trenutak kada sam pomislio da bi neko ko deli vrlo normalnu INFJ reakciju mogao biti napadnut zbog toga što se nalazi na niskoj tački. Ovo se desilo:

INFJ-ovi su najređa ličnost; filozofske kontradikcije u ljudskom obliku, i jednostavno ne možemo pomoći.

Intenzivno smo introvertni, a opet prirodni negovatelji. Imamo jake emocije i još jaču intuiciju, ali često se borimo da objasnimo zašto jednostavno znamo stvari. Obično smo previše pametni za sopstveno dobro, a opet se neprekidno osećamo nerazumljivo.

Verovatno postoji visoka stopa komorbidnog autizma i ADHD-a među INFJ-ima. Mi smo ljudi koji su toliko fundamentalno nenormalni da maskiramo bez da to shvatamo. I u tome, uvek smo svesni da igramo ulogu; prilagođavamo svoju prezentaciju trenutku. To nas čini izolovanim, čak i kada smo okruženi ljudima.

Mi smo introverti kojima je potreban prostor, ali takođe ne možemo biti zaista sami. Moramo biti sami s nekim. Žrtvovaćemo se za druge dok se ne iscrpimo, opasno, samodestruktivno.

I kada se to desi, otkrivamo da nemamo nikoga ko bi se brinuo o nama, jer uvek gravitiramo ka onima kojima je potrebna pomoć. Kada konačno doživimo slom, ljudi koji su zavisili od nas krive nas što smo slabi.

Internelizujemo ovo. Duboko to osećamo. Tako učimo: vredni smo samo kada smo od pomoći. A kada nam je potrebna pomoć, znamo da ćemo biti odbijeni.

Žudimo da budemo primećeni, ali se plašimo odbacivanja. Gotovo nikada nećemo potražiti pomoć. A kada to učinimo, očekujemo odbacivanje, jer to često i intenzivno doživljavamo.

Duboko volimo. Potpuno volimo. I uvek vidimo kako se ta ljubav raspada pre nego što se to desi. Znamo šta će ljudi uraditi pre nego što to urade. I taj ponavljajući ciklus znanja, gledanja kako se neizbežno odvija, ostavlja nas sa dubokim, složenim PTSD-om. Tako se izolujemo, na duže periode, iznova i iznova.

I znamo ovo, čak i ako samo instinktivno.

Obično nam je žao što smo haos. Samo želimo da neko kaže: "U redu je. Volim te i vidim te. Nastavi. Proći ćeš kroz ovo. Uvek prođeš. Tu sam za tebe."

Dakle, svim INFJ-ima koji su ovo pročitali do kraja: Vidim te. Volim te. Proći ćeš kroz ovo. Uvek prođeš. Nema nas mnogo, ali nisi sam. Nastavi; vredi. Neko želi da se brine o tebi. I uvek postoji neko kome si potreban. Ali u nekom trenutku, moraš stati i pustiti nekog drugog da preuzme, makar na trenutak. Bićeš još bolji zbog toga.

*Uređeno radi jasnoće jer često pričam previše u prvim nacrtima.

#infj #infjs #infjproblems #adhd #audhd #autizam #mentalnozdravlje #depresija #samoedukacija

Težina znanja: Neizgovorena borba INFJ-a ❣️

but infj naturally weird, effortlessly 😅😂

#infjlife
#weirdcreatures
#iloveinfj

It's good to be normal,

ali infj je prirodno čudan, bez napora 😅😂

#infjlife
#weirdcreatures
#iloveinfj

Dobro je biti normalan,

Boo zajednica za upoznavanje drugih Infjproblems entuzijasta.

Infjproblems Zajednica

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Težina znanja: Neizgovorena borba INFJ-a ❣️

Dobro je biti normalan,