Jacen

Posted Thursday, February 6, 2025

2mo

INFJ

Leo

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5

The Weight of Knowing: An INFJ's Unspoken Struggle ❣️

In a very typical INFJ fashion, I had a whole moment when I thought someone sharing a very normal INFJ response might get attacked for being at low point. This happened: INFJs are the rarest personality type; philosophical contradictions in human form, and we literally cannot help it. We are intensely introverted yet natural caregivers. We have strong emotions and an even stronger intuition, but we often struggle to explain why we just know things. We’re usually too smart for our own good yet constantly feel misunderstood. There’s likely a high rate of comorbid autism and ADHD among INFJs. We are people so fundamentally not normal that we mask without realizing it. And in doing so, we are always aware that we are playing a role; shifting our presentation to fit the moment. This makes us feel isolated, even when surrounded by people. We are introverts who need space but also cannot be truly alone. We need to be alone with someone. We will sacrifice ourselves for others until we burn out, dangerously, self-destructively so. And when that happens, we find we have no one to take care of us, because we always gravitate toward those who need us. When we finally break down, the very people who depended on us blame us for being weak. We internalize this. We feel it deeply. So we learn: We are only valuable when we are of service. And when we need help, we know we’ll be turned away. We crave being noticed but are terrified of rejection. We will almost never reach out. And when we do, we expect rejection, because we experience it frequently and intensely. We love deeply. We love fully. And we always see that love breaking apart before it happens. We know what people will do before they do it. And that repeating cycle of knowing, of seeing the inevitable unfold, leaves us with deep, complex PTSD. So we isolate, for long stretches of time, over and over again. And we know this, even if only instinctively. We’re usually sorry for being a mess. We just want someone to say, “It’s okay. I love you, and I see you. Keep going. You’ll get through this. You always do. I’m here for you.” So to any INFJ who read this to the end: I see you. I love you. You’ll get through this. You always do. There aren’t many of us, but you’re not alone. Keep going; it’s worth it. Someone wants to take care of you. And there is always someone who needs you. But at some point, you have to stop and let someone else take over, if only for a while. You’ll be all the better for it. *Edited for clarity because I ramble a lot on first drafts. #infj #infjs #infjproblems #adhd #audhd #autism #mentalhealth #depression #selfcare

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