The Efficiency Expert

There was a man who was serious in life. He value logic, data, and maximum efficiency in all areas of life, including marriage. One night, his wife suggested to "rekindle the passion." He agreed and immediately optimized the environment. He set the thermostat to a crisp 68 degrees for optimal cardiovascular output. He picked a playlist with a steady 120 beats per minute to maintain a consistent rhythm. Everything went perfectly. It was a highly successful execution of marital intimacy. Afterward, as they lay there in silence, he decided to gather some immediate performance feedback to ensure continuous improvement. He turned to her, cleared his throat, and said, "I think that went well. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate my overall customer service tonight?" She stared at me for three long seconds. Then she said, "The service was adequate, but I'm canceling my subscription."