Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

Maybe

I just gave up on finding another "the one" and don't want to lower my morals to get what I want at times. 🌚🌝🌚🌝😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️🥶 Before y'all are like "omg you'll find someone" I don't want anyone right now. The drama is unneeded but like I also did give up just a little

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

So, what are these morals that you would have to compromise on?

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9

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

I thought I already explained them. I'd have to which I won't compromise on the strong belief of having only one partner at a time as well as the strong dislike of hookups and fwb/sleeping around.

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni oh those, yeah you said that. I presumed that you might mean something beyond that that you hadn't said.

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb well I'd love to be a house wife but I don't think that's exactly a moral. I have to use drugs as a fine line because of my past. But mind you I have plenty of trauma so I'm sure there's more I'm just not thinking about.

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni also, I think I might have missed the full length of your message because I looked at it in the middle of the day at work. That's totally a "my bad". I don't know if that means I should have paid more attention to your message or more attention to my work or more attention to the fact that I didn't fully read it, and then forgot that I did that before saying something else.

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb haha no no you're fine!!! Hope work went well at least.

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1

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni today it did. It has been a really rough work week though.

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni that's all fair. I have no moral issue with drugs. People can do whatever they want to themselves as long as they aren't hurting anybody else (unconsensually). Some drugs don't bother me at all with a partner other drugs would bother me a lot. There is no way at this point in my life that I would be with a heroin addict. Even if at one point in my life I foolishly did love one. Awkward story there, I dreamed of her one night, asked our shared friend what happened to her. He said something weird, I was like huh what are you talking about? He thought I had found out that she died two nights ago. I had no idea. It was really weird because I never really think about her, and then I had a weird dream about her the night after she died. Yeah that was weird completely unrelated to all of the rest of this talk.

0

1

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb well I used to do a lot of drugs so I don't think I could have them done around me

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0

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb awe I'm sorry hopefully the weekend is good for you

1

0

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

What are you hitting with morals? Honestly I definitely wouldn't reduce my morals. At the same time I think it kind of depends on the morals you're talking about. For example I'm an egalitarian. I would accept somebody who's not an egalitarian. I would hope that they would be close though and they certainly can't cross any extreme lines on that. For an example I don't consider feminists to be egalitarians however they're close enough. Some of them probably are they just aren't familiar with the term. The biggest problem I have there is a lot of them are upset that I don't consider myself to be a feminist. However when I speak to them they say I am, which I don't really like that because I should define who I am. So that's kind of weird. If you're not familiar with the term egalitarian it simply means that I think all people should be treated equally. I found that I don't have a problem with a lot of feminists but some of them are problematic. They go too far. So if it's something like that where the line is a little wibbly wobbly, I think you should consider the hard line for yourself versus the political line. I know you didn't say ethics but, ethics is the term for the community line. Morals are the term for the personal line. Back in school, both high school and college I wrote papers on why this is and how it should be treated. I personally never follow the ethical line. I look at the ethical lines that exist and then I make up my own mind. I have problems talking with both the left and the right simply because I make up my own mind on all these problems. I hope you're not one of those people who is going to look at this and be like oh my God he's awful simply because he's not Towing that line and refuses to call himself a feminist. Anyways, I wouldn't look at the exact definitions of what they call themselves if that's what you're doing. Try to find out if there's any nuance to it and they're crossing any specific hard lines. I'll give another thing. My roommate has a problem with accepting trans at a young age. He said that to me one night and I told him exactly what I thought of it. We got into the nuance and he's basically auntie some sort of immediately looking and treating them exactly and almost completely reinforcing that thought rather than letting them work it out. Acceptance is fine but if they are actually doing any kind of pushing it then perhaps that is not okay. He also told me that they are doing chemical and surgery on minors to change their physical gender. I can actually kind of see the point of that seeming problematic. I think people should be allowed to be trans. However I'm personally not even convinced that it's the right decision to do chemical and surgery before the age of 18. I've been told that most people don't know what they want to do for a living and such before that age and even far after. Perhaps they shouldn't be making that decision before that age. Truth be I don't know enough about it to make a fully educated decision. He listens to a lot of what I would call sketchy news sources. I once asked him to show me the research that he was talking about and it never appeared so... All I'm saying there is that given only what he told me his response sounded not without reason. Of course in his case he's autistic so his initial verbal communication is not the greatest. He also really does have some really asinine opinions so... You may think this is one of them. Like I said I'm staying out of it. Anyways, I'll reiterate find your hard line for yourself. Don't simply follow a "party" line. Find out if there are any things that you can be softer on. Like, not saying this is really not a problem. Someone else thinking for themselves may not be a real issue. I could never date a racist, sexist, ageist, or discriminate against handicap/disabled people or whatever they want to be called now sorry I don't remember (is genderist yet a term? If not it should have one). If you're born that way, you can't help it and shouldn't be discriminated against for it. So that's an example of a hard line for me. A soft line would be something like capital punishment or chemical castration for pedophiles. I'm personally okay with that for personal reasons (no it wasn't me). However I would soft line that for somebody else. Honestly it's never going to be my decision or theirs so who cares. It's not a hill I'm willing to die on. Anyways, good luck just keep your eye open for someone. You don't have to compromise yourself. PS sorry for the essay 😉

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7

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

I'm aware of personal and 'community' morals. I've, for the past few years at least, always followed my own morals therefore they're always personal. I give too many people too many chances even when they do things I strongly dislike. I think most feminists are extreme because that's what I've seen and I don't agree with them labelling you as such since that is your choice to make. I don't believe children should be undergoing the lessons of the trans people as well as undergoing any physical changes. I believe they should figure it out for themselves as an adult. Now with that said the morals I'm moreso on about is like not hooking up or sleeping around, monogamy only etc etc. Mind you I've been raped and molested multiple times so I'm a bit weird and jaded on the subject but I like to call myself old school for the reasons that I'm nothing like this generation. Now to conclude I don't care what people's opinions are honestly I rarely bring up my own. I wouldn't date a trans man because I'm straight and I wouldn't date a trans female because to me that's off-putting. I'd be their friend though. Same with people who sleep around or are in open/poly relationships. I'll be your friend but take it further than that and I'm gone. And that also applies to feminists but there's more rules persay for them. Like if they start to act crazy then I don't think I could be their friend (extreme feminists I mean). I also can get along and disagree with both the left and right. Nothing's political with me . But my first and only true love died as well as another one after him that I don't believe was a true love but I did care for him so I'm just taking a break from the whole scene.

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

Also never apologize for properly explaining yourself I for one love when people do that. Shows they're engaged and educated. Like I said I'm not with this generation. I'm actually quite different. Which is weird because I'm 23.

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni the reason I apologize is because a lot of people out there don't seem to be all that educated or at least all that intelligent. As soon as you say x your automatically a villain. As far as what my generations values are? I have no idea. I'm not even sure if that's a generational thing. I can tell you what we've experienced and what we were taught. I can tell you I ignored everything we were taught.

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1

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb right. Well that's just how I see things

1

0

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni that sounds pretty rough by the way.

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1

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Toni

1mo

ISFP
Cancer

6w5

6

5

@Caleb that's life

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1

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Caleb

1mo

ISTP
Libra

8w7

8

7

@Toni preach

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Harps

1mo

INTJ
Scorpio

9w1

9

1

Whenever i come across the term "the one", it always reminds me of Neo in The Matrix.

1

0

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Benjamin (Ben)

1mo

ENFP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

OR! just try to find a Good One

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0

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