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relationshipadvice

Why men love beautiful women but hate her when they know she's smart 🤓

Waarom mans pragtige vroue liefhet, maar haar haat wanneer hulle weet sy is slim 🤓

I just want to share this as a reminder for every woman: never love someone so much... that you forget to love yourself. If one day they stop respecting you, stop seeing your worth, disregard your feelings, and leave you to suffer alone—walk away. Don't devalue yourself just hoping that one day they will finally appreciate your goodness. Because someone who truly knows your worth... will never make you fight to prove it alone

truly knows your worth

Ek wil net dit deel as 'n herinnering vir elke vrou: moenie ooit iemand so baie liefhê... dat jy vergeet om jouself lief te hê nie. As hulle op 'n dag ophou om jou te respekteer, ophou om jou waarde te sien, jou gevoelens ignoreer, en jou alleen laat ly—stap weg. Moet jouself nie minderwaardig maak in die hoop dat hulle op 'n dag jou goedheid sal waardeer nie. Want iemand wat werklik jou waarde ken... sal jou nooit laat veg om dit alleen te bewys

weet werklik jou waarde

Could you validate? What are your thoughts?

For the Men out there

Kan jy dit bevestig? Wat is jou gedagtes?

Vir die mans daar buite

What the biggest red flag you have seen in the first date?

Wat is die grootste rooi vlag wat jy op die eerste afspraak gesien het?

Who agrees?

Wie stem saam?

“Always read a message twice before replying. Most fights start from a misunderstanding “.

Carefully think of reply. Don’t be quick to click.

Would you?

“Lees altyd 'n boodskap twee keer voordat jy antwoordgee. Meeste gevegte begin uit 'n misverstand.”

Dink sorgvuldig na oor jou antwoord. Moet nie haastig wees om te klik.

Sou jy?

It wasn’t that long ago that online dating became a thing. Whether it was plenty of fish, Match, OK Cupid, Zoosk, it opened up ways for people to connect to one another with their lives being busy with work or other matters.

There’s one thing that was consistent with all of this: intent. 

You knew what you were signing up for when you created an account for those sites and others knew what you were looking for. There was more transparency.

Now?

It’s the exact opposite. There’s no intention at all or if there is, It’s hidden behind ulterior motives.

What was once a way to connect others with the purpose of fostering a long-term relationship became an easier way to deceive and practice short-term strategies, leaving both parties unfulfilled after their “party phase” of their lives was over.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a casual relationship if that’s what you want. The issue lies within deception and the normalization of all of this among those who want genuine long-term relationships.

Those that are looking for worthwhile connections are drowned out by those who seek a thrill, leaving them wondering: “what’s the point?”

Most of them could quite possibly just go about their life, finding a person through their everyday life maybe at work, or an event but that endeavor grows increasingly more difficult as life becomes more time consuming and costly.

I made a post about ghosting and honesty, how the things that we’ve normalized have ruined us.

While it may be easier said than done to change the culture around dating.

It can start with one person and it starts with being intentional and clear about what it is we want.

What Happened To Intention?

Dit was nie so lank gelede dat aanlyn dating 'n ding geword het nie. Of dit nou baie visse, Match, OK Cupid, Zoosk was, dit het maniere oopgemaak vir mense om met mekaar te skakel terwyl hulle lewens besig was met werk of ander sake.

Daar is een ding wat konsekwent was met al hierdie: intentie.

Jy het geweet waarvoor jy teken toe jy 'n rekening vir daardie webwerwe geskep het en ander het geweet waarna jy soek. Daar was meer deursigtigheid.

Nou?

Dit is die presiese teenoorgestelde. Daar is glad nie enige intentie nie of as daar is, is dit versteek agter ander motiewe.

Wat eens 'n manier was om ander te verbind met die doel om 'n langtermynverhouding te bevorder, het 'n makliker manier geword om te mislei en korttermynstrategieë toe te pas, wat albei partye ontevrede laat nadat hul “partytjie fase” van hul lewens verby was.

Nou, daar is niks verkeerd met 'n informele verhouding as dit is wat jy wil hê nie. Die probleem lê in misleiding en die normalisering van al hierdie onder diegene wat opregte langtermynverhoudings wil hê.

Diegene wat op soek is na waardevolle verbindings word oorheers deur diegene wat 'n opwinding soek, wat hulle laat wonder: “wat is die punt?”

Die meeste van hulle kan moontlik net hul lewe voortgaan, 'n persoon vind deur hul alledaagse lewe dalk by werk, of 'n geleentheid, maar daardie poging word al hoe moeiliker namate die lewe meer tydrowend en kostelik word.

Ek het 'n pos gemaak oor ghosting en eerlikheid, hoe die dinge wat ons genormaliseer het ons verwoes het.

Terwyl dit dalk makliker gesê as gedoen is om die kultuur rondom dating te verander.

Dit kan begin met een persoon en dit begin met om doelbewus en duidelik te wees oor wat dit is wat ons wil hê.

Wat het met Intensie gebeur?

🥹🥹🥹❤️

SINGLE

ENKEL

The hardest part isn’t finding someone. It’s finding someone who means what they say

Die moeilikste deel is nie om iemand te vind nie. Dit is om iemand te vind wat beteken wat hulle sê

Idk if it's just me, but I see a lot of men adding "open relationship" in their tags, like, do you even know what that even mean?! Just a hint. You can't add a "monogamous" tag and add the "open relationship" tag at the same time in your profile. No. It doesn't work that way, sir. Idk. Just google it or chatgpt it first if you dont know what it means, geez. 🙄

Relationship tags

Ek weet nie of dit net ek is nie, maar ek sien baie mans wat "oop verhouding" in hul etikette voeg, soos, weet jy selfs wat dit beteken?! Net 'n wenk. Jy kan nie 'n "monogame" etiket voeg en die "oop verhouding" etiket terselfdertyd in jou profiel voeg nie. Nee. Dit werk nie so nie, meneer. Ek weet nie. Google dit of chatgpt dit eers as jy nie weet wat dit beteken nie, jinne. 🙄

Verhouding etikette

Moving forward

Vorentoe beweeg

The kind that chooses commitment over convenience, patience over perfection, and genuine intentions over empty words. A love strong enough to cross cultural and social barriers, overcome distance and challenges, and inspire two people to give their all for one another. Perhaps, somewhere in the world, two people still believe in that kind of love, even though they haven’t found each other yet. Maybe, when the time is right, life will quietly bring their paths together.

Does Old fashioned LOVE still exist?

Die soort wat verbintenis bo gerief, geduld bo perfektheid, en opregte bedoelings bo leë woorde kies. 'n Liefde sterk genoeg om kulturele en sosiale hindernisse te oorkom, afstand en uitdagings te oorwin, en twee mense te inspireer om hul alles vir mekaar te gee. Miskien glo twee mense iewers in die wêreld nog steeds in daardie soort liefde, al het hulle mekaar nog nie gevind nie. Miskien, wanneer die tyd reg is, sal die lewe stilweg hul paaie saambring.

Bestaan oulike liefde nog steeds?

Only artist will understand 😎

Slegs kunstenaars sal verstaan 😎

Hi, all! I was way too overwhelmed the last time that I was here. It didn't help to have learned that my best friend from elementary school died during the middle of it all. I'm one further class down toward my master's degree, though! I only have four classes left!

I'm definitely still looking for a partner of some sort. I have it in mind to leave New Jersey someday. I'm not ready for that now, and I won't be ready for it for a while, but I'm going to get there eventually.

P.S. I'm not into deleting posts to try to curate what people see about me, so even though I was feeling overwhelmed, I'm keeping all my posts up.

I'm back!

Hallo, almal! Ek was die laaste keer wat ek hier was, heeltemal oorweldig. Dit het nie gehelp om te leer dat my beste vriend van laerskool gedurende dit alles gesterf het nie. Ek is egter een klas nader aan my meestersgraad! Ek het net vier klasse oor!

Ek soek beslis steeds 'n maat van een of ander soort. Ek het in gedagte om eendag New Jersey te verlaat. Ek is nie reg daarvoor nie, en ek sal 'n rukkie nie reg wees nie, maar ek gaan uiteindelik daar kom.

P.S. Ek is nie in die deleting van plasings om te probeer om te curater wat mense oor my sien nie, so al het ek oorweldig gevoel, hou ek al my plasings op.

Ek is terug!

I need the men on my feed to settle a debate for me.
Is it actually 'normal' for a guy to go live with a single female friend because she's giving him a ride to a job( no driving license he couldn’t drive his car 
) just because 'she’s like a sister'? Or is my boundary meter working perfectly?

AskMen

Ek het die mans op my feed nodig om 'n debat vir my op te los.
Is dit eintlik 'normaal' vir 'n ou om regstreeks te gaan met 'n enkele vroulike vriend omdat sy hom 'n rit na 'n werk gee (geen rybewys, hy kon nie sy motor bestuur nie) net omdat 'sy soos 'n suster is'? Of werk my grense meter perfek?

Moving On

Beweeg Aan

Reminder before marriage

Herinnering voor die huwelik

Flowers

Blomme

🤌

I need cuddles and kisses so bad rn I miss being touched and loved on fr fr

Cuddles and kisses

Ek het so dringend knuffels en soentjies nodig, ek mis dit om aangeraak en geliefd te wees, regtig regtig

Knuffels en soentjies

I live here

Ek woon hier

🌻He takes responsibility for his words.
When he makes a promise, he keeps it. He doesn't say beautiful things at night only to forget them the next morning. His words carry enough weight for you to trust him every time.
🌻He doesn't run away from problems.
When things get difficult, he stays and talks things through with you instead of disappearing and returning as if nothing happened. He faces problems with courage and works to solve them.
🌻He knows how to apologize.
When he's wrong, he admits it. He doesn't shift the blame onto you until you feel like you're always the one at fault.
🌻He respects your time.
He doesn't leave you waiting without an explanation or disappear expecting you to simply understand. He knows your time is just as valuable as his.
🌻He is genuine.
He doesn't create a perfect image at the beginning only to become someone completely different later. The person you meet is the person he truly is.
🌻He plans a future with you.
He sees you as part of his future instead of just living day by day and letting the relationship drift without direction.
🌻He can control his emotions.
When he's angry, he doesn't take it out on you or use hurtful words. He understands that a moment of frustration should never damage the person he loves.
🌻He's proud to have you in his life.
He doesn't hide you like a secret. He's happy to introduce you to the people around him because he wants them to know you're someone important in his life.
🌻He supports your growth.
He celebrates your success instead of feeling threatened or left behind. He wants to see you thrive just as much as he wants to succeed himself.
🌻He loves you consistently.
Whether you're looking your best or feeling exhausted, he's still there. His love doesn't depend on what you can do for him or what you have to offer.

Choose to love a man, not a boy.

🌻Hy neem verantwoordelikheid vir sy woorde.
Wanneer hy 'n belofte maak, hou hy dit. Hy sê nie pragtige dinge in die nag net om dit die volgende oggend te vergeet nie. Sy woorde dra genoeg gewig sodat jy hom elke keer kan vertrou.
🌻Hy hardloop nie weg van probleme nie.
Wanneer dinge moeilik raak, bly hy en praat dinge deur met jou in plaas daarvan om te verdwyn en terug te keer asof niks gebeur het nie. Hy staan probleme met moed tegemoet en werk om dit op te los.
🌻Hy weet hoe om verskoning te vra.
Wanneer hy verkeerd is, erken hy dit. Hy skuif nie die skuld op jou nie totdat jy voel jy is altyd die een wat verkeerd is.
🌻Hy respekteer jou tyd.
Hy laat jou nie wag sonder 'n verduideliking of verdwyn en verwag dat jy eenvoudig sal verstaan nie. Hy weet jou tyd is net so waardevol soos syne.
🌻Hy is opreg.
Hy skep nie 'n perfekte beeld aan die begin net om later iemand heeltemal anders te word nie. Die persoon wat jy ontmoet, is die persoon wat hy werklik is.
🌻Hy beplan 'n toekoms met jou.
Hy sien jou as deel van sy toekoms in plaas daarvan om net dag vir dag te leef en die verhouding sonder rigting te laat dryf.
🌻Hy kan sy emosies beheer.
Wanneer hy kwaad is, neem hy dit nie op jou uit of gebruik hy seergemaakte woorde nie. Hy verstaan dat 'n oomblik van frustrasie nooit die persoon wat hy liefhet, moet benadeel nie.
🌻Hy is trots om jou in sy lewe te hê.
Hy verberg jou nie soos 'n geheim nie. Hy is bly om jou aan die mense rondom hom voor te stel omdat hy wil hê hulle moet weet jy is iemand belangrik in sy lewe.
🌻Hy ondersteun jou groei.
Hy vier jou sukses in plaas daarvan om bedreig of agtergelaat te voel. Hy wil jou sien floreer net soos hy self wil slaag.
🌻Hy lief jou konsekwent.
Of jy nou jou beste lyk of uitgeput voel, hy is steeds daar. Sy liefde hang nie af van wat jy vir hom kan doen of wat jy het om aan te bied nie.

Kies om 'n man te lief te hê, nie 'n seun nie.

We can grow together, become better people for each other, and support one another. But we should never have to stop respecting ourselves or lose who we are just to make a relationship work.

If you lose your sense of self and your confidence in the process, that's not a healthy love—and that's not what a good partner should ever ask of you

A healthy relationship should never come at the cost of your self-respect.🤗🌻🙏💖

Ons kan saam groei, beter mense vir mekaar word, en mekaar ondersteun. Maar ons behoort nooit onsself te respekteer of te verloor wie ons is net om 'n verhouding te laat werk nie.

As jy jou sin van self en jou selfvertroue in die proses verloor, is dit nie 'n gesonde liefde nie—en dit is nie wat 'n goeie maat ooit van jou behoort te vra nie.

'n Gesonde verhouding behoort nooit ten koste van jou selfrespek te kom.🤗🌻🙏💖

Let them lose you. Let them chase the version of you that they lost. 
Know your worth! 🩷

Laat hulle jou verloor. Laat hulle die weergawe van jou jaag wat hulle verloor het. 
Ken jou waarde! 🩷

🫰

👇

Don't force anyone to do something for you.

If they truly want to, they'll do it on their own.

Love is meant to be given freely, not begged for.

TRUE

Moet niemand dwing om iets vir jou te doen nie.

As hulle regtig wil, sal hulle dit op hul eie doen.

Liefde is bedoel om vryelik gegee te word, nie gesmeek te word nie.

WAARHEID

I don't fall for flirting anymore. I fall for consistency.

Anyone can shower you with attention in the beginning. Anyone can make you feel like you're the only person in the room. The compliments, the long conversations, the excitement—it all feels real until, slowly, it isn't.

What I don't understand is why people create expectations they never intended to maintain.

If you truly like someone, don't make them fall for you with a version of you that only exists for the first few weeks. Be the same person after the butterflies settle. Because while you're just "getting to know someone," the other person might be building trust, lowering their guard, and believing every effort you're making.

Yes, life gets busy. Situations change. Nobody expects perfection.

But inconsistency and lack of effort are different from genuine circumstances.

Sometimes it feels like people stop trying not because they can't, but because they're always wondering if there's someone better waiting around the corner. In a world full of endless options, consistency has become rare.

And that's exactly why it's so attractive.

Because staying, showing up, and choosing the same person every day will always mean more than the loudest words or the sweetest flirting.

The right person won't just make you feel special once—they'll make sure you never have to question where you stand.

Consistency is attractive ❤️❣️

Ek val nie meer vir flirtery nie. Ek val vir konsekwentheid.

Enigiemand kan jou in die begin met aandag oorlaai. Enigiemand kan jou laat voel asof jy die enigste persoon in die kamer is. Die komplimente, die lang gesprekke, die opwinding—dit voel alles werklik totdat, stadig, dit nie meer is nie.

Wat ek nie verstaan nie, is hoekom mense verwagtinge skep wat hulle nooit bedoel het om te handhaaf nie.

As jy werklik van iemand hou, moenie hulle laat val vir 'n weergawe van jouself wat net vir die eerste paar weke bestaan nie. Wees dieselfde persoon nadat die skoenlappers gaan sit. Want terwyl jy net "iemand leer ken," mag die ander persoon vertroue bou, hul wag te verlaag, en elke poging wat jy maak glo.

Ja, die lewe raak besig. Situasies verander. Niemand verwag perfeksie nie.

Maar inkonsekwentheid en gebrek aan moeite is anders as opregte omstandighede.

Soms voel dit of mense ophou probeer nie omdat hulle nie kan nie, maar omdat hulle altyd wonder of daar nie iemand beter om die draai wag nie. In 'n wêreld vol eindelose opsies het konsekwentheid skaars geword.

En dit is presies hoekom dit so aantreklik is.

Want om te bly, om op te daag, en om elke dag dieselfde persoon te kies, sal altyd meer beteken as die luidste woorde of die soetste flirtery.

Die regte persoon sal jou nie net een keer spesiaal laat voel nie—hulle sal seker maak jy hoef nooit te twyfel oor waar jy staan nie.

Konsekwentheid is aantreklik ❤️❣️

Odio se tan introvertida, insegura y con autoestima súper baja 😓

Ek haat om so introvert, onseker en met 'n super lae selfbeeld te wees 😓

It’s ironic that exactly one year ago today, I told him I loved him, but today I told him I hate him. 🥲
That’s how feelings change

Dit is ironies dat ek presies een jaar gelede vandag vir hom gesê het ek het hom lief, maar vandag het ek vir hom gesê ek haat hom. 🥲
So verander gevoelens

😏

For me, a long-distance relationship is not an obstacle at all; otherwise, I wouldn't be here. It’s because I want to explore the big wide world and make friends from all over the globe, and more importantly, I want to find my soulmate. I used to date someone who proved to me that long distance or physical separation doesn't matter as much as the feelings between two people. Even though we lived in different countries nearly 10,000 kilometers apart, he made the effort to come and see me. Actions speak louder than words, and he actually did it.

​The important thing is what we choose to prioritize—the hardships, or the desire to see each other's faces; a longing that is greater than any feeling of discouragement. I have already written down my ideal type and most of my personal traits in my profile. So, please read through my information before you consider being my friend or wanting to change our status from friends to something more.

​I don't expect anything more than the mutual love and effort of two people. If you ever feel that it's too difficult or you don't want to take the risk, please do not step beyond the boundary of friendship. I cannot take responsibility for anyone else's feelings. Be honest with yourself. When you are clear with yourself, you will see the destination. But when you lack clarity, don't dive into deep water because you will never know what lies beneath—you might encounter something terrible, or you might find gold. Only you and I can determine that.

​Oh, and by the way, I never mentioned physical appearance anywhere in my profile because I value the heart and mindset within much more than external looks. Thank you for reading this far. I wish everyone—including myself, who is looking for someone genuinely interested in a serious relationship, a like-minded life partner, and someone with equal or greater positive energy—finds each other very soon.💖🤗✨🙏🌻🎁

Long Distance Relationship: for me🌍🌎🌏

Vir my is 'n langafstandverhouding glad nie 'n hindernis nie; anders sou ek nie hier wees nie. Dit is omdat ek die groot wye wêreld wil verken en vriende van regoor die wêreld wil maak, en meer belangrik, ek wil my sielsgenoot vind. Ek het vroeër iemand gedate wat vir my bewys het dat langafstand of fisiese skeiding nie so belangrik is soos die gevoelens tussen twee mense nie. Alhoewel ons in verskillende lande gewoon het, byna 10,000 kilometer van mekaar af, het hy die moeite gedoen om my te kom sien. Dade spreek harder as woorde, en hy het dit werklik gedoen.

Die belangrike ding is wat ons kies om te prioritiseer—die moeilikhede, of die begeerte om mekaar se gesigte te sien; 'n verlange wat groter is as enige gevoel van ontmoediging. Ek het reeds my ideale tipe en die meeste van my persoonlike eienskappe in my profiel neergeskryf. So, lees asseblief deur my inligting voordat jy oorweeg om my vriend te wees of om ons status van vriende na iets meer te verander.

Ek verwag glad nie meer as die wedersydse liefde en moeite van twee mense nie. As jy ooit voel dat dit te moeilik is of jy nie die risiko wil neem nie, moenie oor die grens van vriendskap stap nie. Ek kan nie verantwoordelikheid neem vir iemand anders se gevoelens nie. Wees eerlik met jouself. Wanneer jy duidelik met jouself is, sal jy die bestemming sien. Maar wanneer jy nie duidelikheid het nie, moenie in diep water duik nie, want jy sal nooit weet wat onder is—jy mag iets vreesliks teëkom, of jy mag goud vind. Slegs jy en ek kan dit bepaal.

Oh, en terloops, ek het nooit fisiese voorkoms enige plek in my profiel genoem nie, omdat ek die hart en ingesteldheid binne baie meer waardeer as eksterne voorkoms. Dankie dat jy so ver gelees het. Ek wens dat almal—insluitend myself, wat op soek is na iemand wat opreg belangstel in 'n ernstige verhouding, 'n gelykgestemde lewensmaat, en iemand met gelyke of groter positiewe energie—mekaar baie gou vind.💖🤗✨🙏🌻🎁

Relationshipadvice Gemeenskap

Waarom mans pragtige vroue liefhet, maar haar haat wanneer hulle weet sy is slim 🤓

weet werklik jou waarde

Vir die mans daar buite

Wat is die grootste rooi vlag wat jy op die eerste afspraak gesien het?

Wie stem saam?

Sou jy?

🎼 Want die krag wat jy verskaf is elektries 🎶

Haar pyn, my pyn...

Die grootste leuen in dating: "Ek is net te besig." 🤫

Toe sy gesê het sy hou daarvan om haar man te voer...

WERK

Geskeide paartjie hoe het julle met julle egskeiding hanteer, veral as jy die een was wat nie die egskeiding wou hê nie?