Univerzumi

Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Moj idealni tip: Neko ko je dovoljno strpljiv da izdrži moju glupost 😎 Neko ko me smatra slatkim čak i kada radim čudne stvari 😏 I neko sa zdravim mentalnim sklopom i bez mentalnih problema 👍

Moje snage: Imam jak mentalitet. Također, možda ću te često udariti, ali sam slab, tako da neće boljeti. To je to
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Dobro jutro

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Ja sam kao navlaka za dušek. Frustrirajuća i uvijek se skida.

Ja sam kao

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

Nikada više neću zadirkivati ljude sa grijanim WC sjedalima...🥶🥶🥶

Da...

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Je li to istina???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Ako gledaš Jaws unazad, postaje topla priča o korisnom ajkuli koja donosi ruke i noge ljudima kojima su potrebne.

Misao dana

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Zašto se čini tako teško?

Ponekad ljudi pitaju,

"Zašto jednostavno ne progovoriš o tome?"

Odgovor je zapravo jednostavan:

Čak ni ne znam odakle da počnem.

Nije da ne želim da se otvorim.

Možda je to zato što, toliko dugo, nikada nisam imao stvaran siguran prostor gdje bi neko bio voljan da me zaista sasluša.

Tako sam naučio da nosim sve sam.

Tuga → zakopana.
Razočaranje → sakupljeno.
Potrebe → odbačene.

Malo po malo, postalo je navika.

Sve dok jednog dana, čak i reći,

" Nisam dobro,"

nije počelo da se čini nepoznatim.

Ljudi vide nekoga ko izgleda smireno, zrelo, i kao da ima sve pod kontrolom.

Ali ono što ne vide je da je ova smirena spoljašnjost često samo pažljivo održavana maska...

koja pokriva rane koje nikada nisu imale priliku da zacele.

Ako tek počinješ da se otvaraš, to je u redu.

Ne moraš sve odjednom.

Uzmi svoj vreme.

Allah zna svaku emociju u tvom srcu, čak i molitve za koje nisi našao reči da ih izgovoriš i suze koje nisu pale.

Ne moraš biti jak sam.

Allah uvek sluša, i uvek postoji nada za isceljenje—jedan mali korak u isto vreme.

Osjećaj umora 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Zdravo. "Ja sam fitness model. Ja sam slika prije" 😎😁

"Šta radiš za život?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Reci mi NAJGORE šale koju si ikada čuo ili pronašao na Internetu. Obećavam da ću ROFLMAO 🤣 ili ozbiljno preispitati tvoj smisao za humor 😂

ROFL ili Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Tata šala krastavac

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Moram voljeti mirise mog frizera, definitivno originalne stvari :')

"Za sve tipove kože" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

Apsolutno, bliskost je stvarna. Budi oko ljudi kojima želiš postati.

Tata šala najbolji zrak

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

Rad na napretku

Dad Joke Magician

Tata Šala Mađioničar

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Započnimo vikend s malo humora 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Recimo da nas napadnu nindže i da svi imaju mačeve - recimo Shinobi sa ninjatō radi jasnoće. Došli su iz alternativne vremenske linije gdje je budućnost feudalni Japan. Trebaju naše cipele i spremni su nas ubiti za njih. Da li se vraćamo bosi ili imaš plan da spasiš našu obuću?

Nindže žele našu obuću!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Pokušao sam uhvatiti MAGLU jučer... PROPUSTIO sam. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Šta se desilo žabi koja je parkirala nelegalno? Postala je žaba.

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Neki jutarnji vicevi da započnete svoj dan:
Jutra su kao matematika — ne sviđaju mi se, ni njima se ne sviđam, i uvijek dolaze s problemima.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

Tata šala Deda Mraz Motocikl

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Koji je najstariji meme koji imaš, a koji te još uvijek nasmije, ali te podsjeća na tvoje godine?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Samo tvoja prosječna ženska demon ovdje

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Molim te, ova pačić je na mojoj glavi već 2 sata!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Jednom sam imao posao udaranja limenki,
Bilo je to gazirano pritiskanje..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Šta dobiješ kada ukrsti hipopotama, slona i nosoroga 🤔
Šta ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Nedavno sam otišao kupiti božićnu jelku
Tip u radnji je rekao "hoćeš li je sam postaviti"
Rekao sam "mislio sam na dnevnu sobu"

Eggless omelet

Omlet bez jaja

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Gemini tata šale :
Zašto je strašilo osvojilo nagradu ? 
Zato što je bilo izvanredno u svom polju.
Ja: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Upoznao sam još jednu djevojku na Boo. Sviđala joj se moja objava i komentarisala je da sam smiješan, pa sam, naravno, kao džentlmen, odgovorio i rekao joj da ako želi više neuračunljivog sadržaja, neka mi pošalje DM.

Poslala je. S poštovanjem, bio sam šokiran.

Prva stvar koju spominje je njen MBTI tip. Ne znam ništa o tome. Samo se ovdje snalazim u životu s vibracijama i Google kalendarom.

Pa je pitam šta je MBTI, a ona kaže da ti govori kako tvoj mozak funkcioniše. Kao MRI ličnosti, pretpostavljam.

Kažem super, kako to funkcioniše? I da zadržim energiju haotičnom, poslao sam joj sliku Lorda Voldemorta — ali s punim nosom i ogromnim britanskim zubima, smijući se kao da je upravo završio obrok u pubu i kolonizovao nešto.

Od tada se nije javila.

Što je fer. Ali također: ne možeš me pitati da istražujem um i ne očekivati čarobnjačke meme.

Slika koju sam poslao:

Jokes Community

👊

Dobro jutro

Ja sam kao

Da...

Je li to istina???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Misao dana

Koji je najluđi ili najzanimljiviji anime koji ste gledali?

sretno zaboravljajući moje oči, moj osmijeh, moje šale, i moje brbljanje

Zato što sam slabić za tatine šale i djetinjast sam do jaja. 🙃

Moj mozak ima noć otvorenog mikrofona 24/7

😄😄😄

Da li postoje šale/šale od početka čovječanstva koje su još uvijek prisutne