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jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Moj idealni tip: Nekdo, ki je dovolj potrpežljiv, da prenaša mojo neumnost 😎 Nekdo, ki me najde ljubkega, tudi ko delam čudne stvari 😏 In nekdo z zdravim načinom razmišljanja in brez duševnih težav 👍

Moje prednosti: Imam močno mentaliteto. Prav tako te morda pogosto udarim, a sem šibek, tako da ne bo bolelo. To je to
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Dobro jutro

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Sem kot prilegajoč list. Frustrirajoč in vedno se odtrga

Sem kot

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Ali je diz res???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Če gledaš Jaws nazaj, postane to srčno zgodbo o prijaznem morskem psu, ki prinaša roke in noge ljudem, ki jih potrebujejo.

Misel dneva

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Zakaj se zdi tako težko?

Včasih ljudje vprašajo,

"Zakaj o tem ne spregovoriš?"

Odgovor je pravzaprav preprost:

Niti ne vem, kje naj začnem.

Ni, da se ne bi želel odpreti.

Mogoče je to zato, ker dolgo časa nisem imel res varnega prostora, kjer bi bil nekdo pripravljen resnično prisluhniti.

Tako sem se naučil nositi vse sam.

Žalost → zakopana.
Razočaranje → zadržano.
Potrebščine → potisnjene na stran.

Počasi, a vztrajno, je to postalo navada.

Dokler en dan celo izrekanje,

"Nisem v redu,"

ni začelo zveneti nenavadno.

Ljudje vidijo nekoga, ki izgleda mirno, zrelo in kot da ima vse pod nadzorom.

Ampak kar ne vidijo, je, da je ta miren videz pogosto le skrbno ohranjena maska...

ki pokriva rane, ki nikoli niso imele priložnosti, da bi se resnično zacelile.

Če šele začenjaš odpirati, je to v redu.

Nisi dolžan narediti vsega naenkrat.

Vzemi si čas.

Allah pozna vsak občutek v tvojem srcu, celo molitve, za katere še nisi našel besed, in solze, ki še niso padle.

Nisi dolžan biti močan sam.

Allah vedno posluša, in vedno obstaja upanje za ozdravitev—korak za korakom.

Počutim se utrujeno 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Živjo. "Sem fitnes model. Jaz sem slika pred" 😎😁

"Kaj počneš za življenje?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Povej mi najslabšo šalo, ki si jo kdaj slišal ali našel na internetu. Obljubim, da se bom ROFLMAO 🤣 ali resno vprašal o tvojem smislu za humor 😂

ROFL ali Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Očevice o kumarah

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Moram imeti rad kolonjske vode mojega frizerja, zagotovo originalne stvari :')

"Za vse tipe kože" 😂

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

Nikoli se ne bom več norčeval iz ljudi s segretimi WC sedeži...🥶🥶🥶

Ja...

Dad Joke Magician

Oče Šala Magik

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Začnimo vikend z malo humorja 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Recimo, da nas napadejo ninje in vsi imajo meče - recimo, da so to Shinobi z ninjatō za jasnost. Prišli so iz alternativne časovne linije, kjer je prihodnost fevdalna Japonska. Potrebujejo naše čevlje in so pripravljeni nas ubiti zanje. Ali se bomo vrnili bosi ali imate načrt, kako rešiti naše čevlje?

Ninje želijo naše čevlje!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Poskusil sem ujeti MEGO včeraj... ZAMUDIL sem. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Kaj se je zgodilo s žabo, ki je parkirala nezakonito? Ujela jo je žaba.

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Nekaj jutranjih šal, da začnete dan:
Jutra so kot matematika — ne maram jih, oni ne marajo mene, in vedno prinesejo težave.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

Oče šala Božiček motocikel

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Kateri je najstarejši meme, ki te še vedno nasmeje, a ti hkrati spominja na tvoje leta?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Tukaj je povprečna ženska demon

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Prosim, ta račka mi je na glavi že 2 uri!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Nekoč sem imel službo, kjer sem razbijal pločevinke,
Bilo je stiskanje sode..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Kaj dobiš, ko prekrižaš hipopotama, slona in nosoroga 🤔
Kaj ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Nekega dne sem šel kupit božično drevo
Fant v trgovini je rekel "ga boš postavil sam"
Rekel sem "mislil sem na dnevno sobo"

Eggless omelet

Omeleta brez jajc

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Dvojčka očetovski šale :
Zakaj je strašilo osvojilo nagrado ? 
Ker je bilo izjemno na svojem polju.
Me: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Spoznal sem drugo dekle na Boo. Všeč mi je bila moja objava in komentirala je, da sem smešen, zato sem se kot pravi gentleman odzval in ji povedal, da mi lahko pošlje sporočilo, če želi več neobvladljive vsebine.

To je tudi storila. S spoštovanjem, bil sem presenečen.

Prva stvar, ki jo omeni, je njen MBTI tip. O tem ne vem nič. Preprosto živim življenje brez zavor z vibracijami in Google Koledarjem.

Zato jo vprašam, kaj sploh je MBTI, in ona pravi, da ti pove, kako deluje tvoj možgani. Kot osebnostni MRI, domnevam.

Rečem, super, kako to deluje? In da ohranim energijo kaotično, sem ji poslal sliko Lorda Voldemorta — ampak z polnim nosom in ogromnimi britanskimi zobmi, ki se smeji, kot da je pravkar končal obrok v pubu in nekaj koloniziral.

Od takrat se ni odzvala.

Kar je pošteno. Ampak tudi: ne moreš me prositi, da raziskujem um in ne pričakovati čarovniških memejev.

Slika, ki sem jo poslal:

Spoznal sem drugo dekle na boo

Wild spirit❤️

Divji duh❤️

Dad Joke Scientist

Oče šala znanstvenik

🤣

What a joke 🙂

Kakšna šala 🙂

🤭😂

Dad Joke Moon Hair

Očevice o Luni in Las

😂

Annoying moments of “not this time sociable”

Nervozni trenutki "ne tokrat družabni"

Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flatbread?

Ali ste vedeli, da ima Spiderman zimsko jakno, ki je popolnoma narejena iz sredozemskega kruha?

Skupnost Boo za spoznavanje drugih navdušencev nad Jokes.

Jokes Skupnost

👊

Dobro jutro

Sem kot

Ali je diz res???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Misel dneva

Počutim se utrujeno 😭😭

Zavedel sem, da mislim, da želim prijateljstvo, ki lahko vodi v razmerje, namesto da bi skočil neposredno v razmerje...

Skriti dragulj

Katero je najbolj nore ali zanimivo anime, ki ste ga videli?

srečno pri pozabljanju mojih oči, mojega nasmeha, mojih šal, in mojega blebetanja

Ker sem nor na očkove šale in sem otročji kot hudič. 🙃

Moj možgani imajo odprti mikrofon 24/7