Nyika

Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Rudzi rwangu rwakakwana: Mumwe munhu ane moyo murefu anokwanisa kumira nekunakidzwa kwangu 😎 Mumwe munhu anondiona ndichikwezva kunyange pandinoita zvinhu zvisinganzwisisike 😏 Uye mumwe munhu ane pfungwa dzakanaka uye asina matambudziko epfungwa 👍

Simba rangu: Ndine pfungwa dzakasimba. Uyezve, ndingakurova kazhinji, asi ndiri kupfava, saka hazvizokuvadzi. Ndizvozvo
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Mangwanani akanaka

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Ndiri sekushandira kwakakodzera. Kunetsa uye nguva dzose kuchibuda

Ndiri sekushandira

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

Handizomboseka vanhu vane makabati ekudzika anopisa zvakare...🥶🥶🥶

Ehe...

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Iyi ndiyo yechokwadi???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Kana uchiona Jaws kumashure, inova nyaya inodziya pamusoro pechikomo chinobatsira chinounza maoko nemakumbo kune vanhu vanozvishaya.

Fungidziro yezuva

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Sei Zvinoita Kuti Zviome?

Dzimwe nguva vanhu vanobvunza,

"Sei usingatauri nezvazvo?"

Mhinduro iri nyore:

Handizivi kuti ndotanga kupi.

Hazvisi zvekuti handidi kuvhura.

Pamwe zviri nekuti, kwenguva refu, handina chaizvo nzvimbo yakachengeteka apo mumwe munhu aida kuteerera chaizvo.

Saka ndakadzidza kutakura zvinhu zvese ndoga.

Kusuwa → kwakavigwa.
Kusagutsikana → kwakabatikana.
Zvinodiwa → zvakakandwa parutivi.

Zvishoma nezvishoma, zvakava tsika.

Kusvikira rimwe zuva, kunyange kutaura,

"Handisi kuita zvakanaka,"

kwakatanga kunzwa kusiri kwechinyakare.

Vanhu vanoona mumwe munhu anotaridzika akadzikama, akura, uye akaita seane zvinhu zvese pasi pekutonga.

Asi chavanotadza kuona ndechekuti chitarisiko ichi chakadzikama kazhinji chiri kungova chifukidziro chakanyatsobatwa...

chichifukidza maronda asina kutambirwa mukana wekupora.

Kana uri kutanga kungovhura, zvakanaka.

Haukwanisi kuita zvese panguva imwe chete.

Tora nguva yako.

Allah anoziva manzwiro ese mumwoyo mako, kunyange minamato yawakatadza kuwana mazwi ekutaura uye misodzi isina kudonha.

Haukwanisi kuva nesimba uri wega.

Allah anogara achiteerera, uye nguva dzose pane tariro yekupora—nhanho diki panguva.

Kunzwa Kuneta 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Hi. "Ndiri muenzaniso wehutano. Ndiri mufananidzo wekutanga" 😎😁

"Chii chaunoita kuti uwane mari?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Ndiudze chinyengeri chakaipa chaunenge wakambonzwa kana kuwana paInternet. Ndine chivimbiso chekuti ndichaseka kusvika ndarova pasi 🤣 kana kuti ndichakubvunza zvine mwero nezvekunakidzwa kwako 😂

ROFL kana Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Baba Joke Pickle

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Ndinofanira kuda makoloni emusana wangu, chokwadi zvinhu zvechokwadi :')

"Kune ese marudzi e ganda Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

Chokwadi, kuve pedyo kwechokwadi. Iva pedyo nevanhu vaunoda kuva.

Baba Joke Yakanakisa Air

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

Ndeipi mhando yejoke inofarirwa ne vegan? 
Pasina nyama

Basa riri mukuenderera mberi

Dad Joke Magician

Baba Joke Mukadzi

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Ngatitange vhiki nekunakidzwa kwekuseka 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Ngatitii tiri kupindwa muropa ne ninjas uye vese vari kutakura mapanga - ngatitii Shinobi vane ninjatō kuti zvive pachena. Vakatanga kubva mune imwe nguva inotenderera uko ramangwana riri feudal Japan. Vanoda shangu dzedu uye vakagadzirira kutouraya kuti vadzitore. Tiri kudzokera tisingapfeki kana une chirongwa chekuchengetedza shangu dzedu?

Ninjas Vanoda Shangu Yedu!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Ndakaedza kubata FOG nezuro... Ndakatadza. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Chii chakaitika kumhuka yakapaka zvisiri pamutemo? Yakawana toad.

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Mamwe maJokes eMangwanani ekutanga zuva rako:
Mangwanani akafanana ne math — Handiwadi, havandiwade, uye anogara achiuya nematambudziko.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

Ndinofungidzira kuti chitsauko chipi chaakatakura?

Baba Joke Santa Motokari

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Chii chiri chirevo chechikuru chaunacho chinokuita kuti useke asi chinokurangaridza nezvezera rako?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Ndiri mukadzi wechikadzi anowanikwa pano

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Ndapota, iyi nguruve diki yave pamusoro pangu kwemahora maviri!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Ndakamboshanda ndichipwanya makani,
Yaive soda inopwanya..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Chii chaunowana kana uchisanganisa hippo, nzou uye rhino 🤔
Chii ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Mazuva apfuura ndakaenda kutenga muti weKrisimasi
Mukomana ari muchitoro akati "uri kuzoisa wega here"
Ndakati "ndakanga ndichifunga nezve imba yokugara"

Eggless omelet

Omelet isina mazai

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Mabasa eGemini :
Sei chiremera chakakunda mubairo ? 
Nekuti chaive chakasiyana mumunda make.
Me: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Ndakasangana nemumwe musikana pa Boo. Akada chinyorwa changu uye akataura kuti ndiri kupenga, saka zvakajairika, semurume, ndakapindura ndichimuudza kana achida zvimwe zvisina kumira, anofanira kunditumira DM.

Akanditumira. Nehanya, ndakashamiswa.

Chokutanga chaakatumira chiri pamusoro peMBTI yake. Handizive chero chinhu nezvazvo. Ndiri kungoita hupenyu hwepamusoro nemavhidhiyo uye Google Calendar.

Saka ndakamubvunza kuti MBTI chii, uye akati chinokuzivisa kuti pfungwa dzako dzinoshanda sei. Sekunge MRI yemunhu, ndinofunga.

Ndakati zvakanaka, inoshanda sei? Uye kuti ndichengetedze simba racho rine mhirizhonga, ndakatumira mufananidzo waLord Voldemort — asi aine mhino yakazara uye mazino makuru eBritish, achiseka sekunge apedza kudya mu pub uye akakoloniza chimwe chinhu.

Haana kupindura kubva ipapo.

Izvi zvakanaka. Asi zvakare: haukwanisi kundikumbira kuti ndiongorore pfungwa uye usatarisira memes dzevashandi. 

Mufananidzo wandakatumira:

Jokes Community

👊

Mangwanani akanaka

Ndiri sekushandira

Ehe...

Iyi ndiyo yechokwadi???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Fungidziro yezuva

Ndeipi anime inonyanya kupenga kana inonakidza yawakaona?

shamwari, unokanganwa maziso angu, kuseka kwangu, jokes dzangu, & kutaura kwangu

Nekuti ndiri kupenga nezve jokes dzevababa uye ndiri mwana chaizvo. 🙃

Brain Yangu Ine Open Mic Night 24/7

😄😄😄

Pane zvidhori/zvinyorwa kubva pakutanga kwevanhu zvichiri kuwanikwa here