Enneagram Community

Some lack self-awareness due t'bein' too focused on others' needs (& you'll see this in a lot of unhealthy Enneagram 2s, 9s, & the countertype Sp instinct 7). People like this were often parentalized/adultified in childhood by their own parent(s). Repressing themselves thus may have been necessary for survival once upon a time, but it ideally becomes a maladaptive strategy one can learn to outgrow in time. . . . Others, akin to infants, may be simultaneously self-absorbed & yet out of touch with who they are. In a lot of such cases, people are just lazy & spoiled, & will figure themselves out in due time--but on the extreme end of this spectrum are e3 narcissists & e7 borderlines, who don't even have a stable identity to know over time (unless/until they heal from their CPTSD enough to constellate/integrate their fragmented psyche over time). [I will add, though, that in cases where there is co-morbid psychopathy &/or where there are machiavellian traits overlayed, there is then, indeed, a fair degree of self-awareness.] Those who know themselves least are most easily triggered, & are liable to unwittingly project; i.e. unconsciously gaslight others into taking the blame for the drama they generate (& if you're a codependent e2, Sp 7, or 9, you're most likely to succumb to tolerating this). . . . And then there are e4s & e8s. These guys aren't confabulating or feigning when they say they know themselves better than anyone. . . . Now then: Once you have self-knowledge, balance also necessitates sometimes compromising your wants to comport yourself to others'. That is, unless you're happy & functional being alone in the long run... And I guess there are a lot of e5s who'd fall into the classification of being Schizoid. Like, they're not necessarily conventionally selfish (like 4s) or defiant (like 8s), but they covet their alone time, & are--out of all Enneatypes--the most content being disconnected from others...for long periods of time. . . . Hm... And then there are 6s. They're the most common type, yet also one of the most complicated. They can pendulum back & forth between being too conformist/patriotic & too neurotically stand-offish (often in alternatingly overly aggressive & passive-aggressive ways). They're kinda like the Tsundere trope in anime. . . . And then 1s...--how t'tie them in... I think, in some ways, like the withdrawn 5s, 1s tend to have a pretty good picture of reality, overall (though 5s have more of an edge in the realm of the sciences, whereas ethics is more the 1's domain). And yet they're outgoing, hyper-productive, & perfectionistic to a fault (when unhealthy)--not to mention militant in their efforts to reform others. My dad has a lot of 1 & 6 in him. It was hard to grow up with a helicopter parent like that. 😵 Ah, & a lot rides on the instinctual variant of the e1 when it comes to self-knowledge. - A Self-preservation 1 tends to master themselves. - A Sexual 1 tends to focus most of their attention & energies on reforming others (& not first plucking the beam out of their own eyes, often). - And I think a Social 1 is somewhat balanced compared to the former two. :d