Hello! I've been back in my country since 3 years ago, when I went through abreakup at the end of my college. It was the CovidEra and my girlfriend's visa would have expired aroundthattime, so unfortunately we had to split after 3 years of being together. Since I have returned (after a long time of healing), I've only had bad experiences with dating girls from my own country. Either it was difficult to find topics to talk about, or I would get cheat on. I had some really short relationships that didn't work at all. When I talk to girls from othercountries, it goes smoothly and really well, distance being the only inconvenient. We could go for hours talking. Now, I would still prefer to find a girl from my own country and form a stable relationship with her. But it seems impossible. Any advice on this?
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Mirko
3mo
ESFP
Sagittarius
When you talk with them it "goes smootly". Why does it go smootly, what is the reason that it goes like that ?
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Dragos
3mo
ESTJ
Libra
3w4
3
4
When talking with girls from other countries I seem to be more confident and find many topics to talk about. It seems much easier to keep a conversation going and I am more confident when speaking English. Any topic goes: cultural differences, food, dating, science, work etc. The transition was much easier into the dating stage when I talked to girls from other countries, back in college. With girls from my own country, it all goes down the drain, despite my attempts to adapt.
2
1
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Mirko
3mo
ESFP
Sagittarius
@Dragos it is good thing that you can do that and that you have many topics and interests.
Based on your words :
- the girls online are notas the ones in real
- topics that work for the ones online do not work fo the others
- your confidence is lower
- you can work on improving language
So now maybe you can adjust a bit, as I understand you want the real ones.
So in a way you don't want that it work so good with the girls online. And to work beter with the ones in real life. ( and make it at some point that you can quit online ones ).
What would make it not work with the ones online? Would you have courage to try that same thing to the oneoffline ?
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1
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Dragos
3mo
ESTJ
Libra
3w4
3
4
@Mirko I have definitely adapted the topics according to the situation (online/offline) and I much prefer offline dating. I believe that international dating works better because there are so many differences and it offers a much wider range of subjects. With dating nationally (offline), we have too many similarities in terms of culture, language etc.
Co-nationals: I couldn't get them to talk about other topics, such as hobbies, free time, travel experiences, because the ones I talked to lacked these. I have noticed the same behaviorpatterns to the girls from my own country, despite them having different educational and professional backgrounds and upbringing.
They would talk and come to dates until a certain point, after which they seem to vanish, just to appear pregnant 2-3 months later, with the dudes they had while also casually dating me.
What I am learning from this is to observe the patterns from the beginning and cut the connection off before I would catch feelings. Hopefully I willlearn my lesson one day.
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Posted Saturday, June 3, 2023
3mo
3w4
3
4
Dating Nationally vs Internationally
Hello! I've been back in my country since 3 years ago, when I went through a breakup at the end of my college. It was the Covid Era and my girlfriend's visa would have expired around that time, so unfortunately we had to split after 3 years of being together. Since I have returned (after a long time of healing), I've only had bad experiences with dating girls from my own country. Either it was difficult to find topics to talk about, or I would get cheat on. I had some really short relationships that didn't work at all. When I talk to girls from other countries, it goes smoothly and really well, distance being the only inconvenient. We could go for hours talking. Now, I would still prefer to find a girl from my own country and form a stable relationship with her. But it seems impossible. Any advice on this?
6
4
Meet New People
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Relationshipadvice Community
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3mo
When you talk with them it "goes smootly". Why does it go smootly, what is the reason that it goes like that ?
2
3
3mo
3w4
3
4
When talking with girls from other countries I seem to be more confident and find many topics to talk about. It seems much easier to keep a conversation going and I am more confident when speaking English. Any topic goes: cultural differences, food, dating, science, work etc. The transition was much easier into the dating stage when I talked to girls from other countries, back in college. With girls from my own country, it all goes down the drain, despite my attempts to adapt.
2
1
3mo
@Dragos it is good thing that you can do that and that you have many topics and interests. Based on your words : - the girls online are not as the ones in real - topics that work for the ones online do not work fo the others - your confidence is lower - you can work on improving language So now maybe you can adjust a bit, as I understand you want the real ones. So in a way you don't want that it work so good with the girls online. And to work beter with the ones in real life. ( and make it at some point that you can quit online ones ). What would make it not work with the ones online? Would you have courage to try that same thing to the one offline ?
2
1
3mo
3w4
3
4
@Mirko I have definitely adapted the topics according to the situation (online/offline) and I much prefer offline dating. I believe that international dating works better because there are so many differences and it offers a much wider range of subjects. With dating nationally (offline), we have too many similarities in terms of culture, language etc. Co-nationals: I couldn't get them to talk about other topics, such as hobbies, free time, travel experiences, because the ones I talked to lacked these. I have noticed the same behavior patterns to the girls from my own country, despite them having different educational and professional backgrounds and upbringing. They would talk and come to dates until a certain point, after which they seem to vanish, just to appear pregnant 2-3 months later, with the dudes they had while also casually dating me. What I am learning from this is to observe the patterns from the beginning and cut the connection off before I would catch feelings. Hopefully I will learn my lesson one day.
0
0