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Universes

Posted Wednesday, February 19, 2025
22d
INTJ
Leo
Where'd this come from???
A good question to ask about some stuff in your life is, where did it come from? How did I take that out on somebody who didn't even do anything to me? Usually where it comes out isn't where it comes from. We don't usually get angry and loose our temper with people who we're actually mad at. We loose our temper with people we know will forgive us. And you find yourself taking out something on the people you love the most, but where it's coming out is different than where it's coming from. And if we don't get honest about what we need this year, we will spend yet another year mopping up the floor, without finding the pipe that was busted that was causing the leak to begin with. A lot of times when I'm angry it's not even really that I'm angry. Instead the truth is I'm afraid, but rather than be vulnerable in my fear, I'd rather express my fear through anger as a protective mechanism. And so I'll try to work on my temper, but really what I need to work on is my trust. Because if I trusted God more I wouldn't be afraid, and if I'm not afraid I wouldn't find an expression of anger. So where's this coming from? It's great to make a list of things you'd like to do differently, but it's better to find out where it's coming from. So I don't just recreate a different issue caused by the same root problem. It'd be like taking ibuprofen for the symptoms but never getting the surgery that's needed to fix the problem. Even in relating to people I have to remember that the way they treat me, might not be a reflection of how they feel about me. It might be a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It might be a reflection of what they're dealing with. And that's why I gotta be careful not to let rejection take root in my spirit, because sometimes people are pushing you away, not because of how they feel about you. But it's actually that the person finds themselves so undesirable that they don't know how to let anyone get close (speaking from experience). Because to let anyone close carries a risk with it, that they will think about me the same way I do. And you wind up spending all of your time trying to love someone who is unable to receive your love. But the rejection isn't proof of your own defection all the time, sometimes it is proof of something in their own life. But where it shows up is not where it started.
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