Philosophy Community

The impression I get is that a lot of people struggle with relationships. Many by the sounds of it feel isolated and lonely due to a lack of finding something that feels real to them. There’s also a lot of notions about toxic relationships and what makes a relationship healthy and long lasting. My thoughts are this: everything in life is a compromise, you give and you take. Similarly you can apply a similar sort of thought to relationships. It’s a balancing act. What makes a healthy long lasting relationship? It’s when you receive what you desire of the relationship and provide what the other person desires from the relationship. The trick is to recognize; to truly understand the things you want and the things the other person wants. Relationships are a collaborative endeavor. It is also my personal opinion that being bold and upfront with the things you want will spare you a lot of grief as people will not just know what you want. Similarly if you are finding that the things you want in a relationship (after being vocal and explicit about it) are not present. Then that likely means that the relationship will not work out. Lastly I will say this: don’t be afraid of being hurt; likewise don’t be afraid of hurting others. This isn’t to say you should deliberately do so, but rather to say if at any point you are concerned about hurting the other becomes the priority, that is also a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you are hurt by the other or you recognize you have hurt the other, talk things out. Being silent isn’t the answer. Collaboration is key. I know it might take a lot of courage. But be courageous. Recognize that not every relationship will work and move on. There’s always another person if you look for them. It starts and ends with you.