Christian

Posted Wednesday, November 2, 2022

1y

INFP

Gemini

Good Afternoon, Agent

Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter puts him in an ideal position to rake in trillions of dollars in Dogecoin profits, enough to radically de-stabilize the world. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to destroy the Neuralink chip hidden in a vault six miles below Tesla headquarters in Austin, Texas before it can be used to transmit the Joe Rogan podcast to every free mind on the planet. Once destroyed, you’ll rendezvous with our asset, Amber Heard, with whom Musk engaged in a past entanglement. You and your team will escort her safely to TMZ headquarters in Los Angeles. In exchange for the IMF’s assistance with her recent legal troubles, Heard has agreed to start a rumor involving Musk’s fascination with pegging. This will cause Musk’s most fervent admirers to suddenly despise him, and Dogecoin value to plummet. As always, should you or any member of your team be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.