Charlie
Charlie

1y

INFP

Virgo

9
1

I need help!! I don’t want to be offensive!!

I have seen many profiles that have things like pre-op trans woman or pre-op trans man. Even with pictures to go by, I am often left with a question. To or from? Meaning are you transitioning from male to female or the other way? I’ve always wanted to get clarification on this, but felt that even thinking the question somehow meant I was being offensive. I’m sorry for my ignorance, but can I get some help on this?

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Tilly - Short Hiatus/Slow to Respond

Tilly - Short Hiatus/Slow to Respond

1y

INTP

Taurus

9
8

Pre-op trans man: Someone assigned female at birth (AFAB) but who is a dude and transitioning, haven't gotten the standard/typical surgeries. Pre-op trans woman: Someone assigned male at birth (AMAB) but who is a gal and hasn't yet gotten the standard/typical surgeries.

3

1

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Jasp

Jasp

1y

INTP

Taurus

4
5

regardless of the slightly weird (and likely inconclusive I think) responses you've received here, the best course of action is either context clues or straight up asking in a respectful manner. how are they presenting, do they look masculine or feminine? can you reasonably conclude the answer? if not, ask for their pronouns. you don't have to ask them if they're transitioning to male or female, just ask what pronouns they prefer if you're confused. abbreviations are important too, many people tend to be confused some times about them though mtf= male to female, ftm= female to male. it shouldn't he offensive at all to ask for pronouns and if someone does find it offensive it likely isn't worth discussing with them anyway.

1

1

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Ruben

Ruben

1y

INFJ

Aquarius

3
4

TRIGGER WARNING: If you want a sincere answer, I would not call that transitioning with all due respect. They just want to chisel their bodies so that they align with their gender identity. Truth be told, it is a purely superficial change except for constant hormone replacement. Of course, they will only resemble their identity as biology takes its course one way or another. P.D. I am not transphobic

1

0

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Nickel

Nickel

12mo

INTP

Virgo

3
4

Hi Charlie, I know it's important to know what someone's physical body is when finding a partner but I'd focus on trying to be friends first then asking them when they make a sexual move on you. I would just focus on using their pronouns until then. It probably feels disrespectful because most transfolks don't want people thinking about their bodies before their personality. Plus, keep in mind that most insurances won't cover more than one gender transitioning surgery for an individual so if they have top surgery then probably don't have bottom surgery (especially if they are a female-to-male because it's easier to remove than add to the body).

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