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poly
1y

Just a quick question.

My very best friend has been in a relationship for about a year. Her boyfriend told her today that he needs another girlfriend or he will get bored, he doesn't want her to see anyone else though. He explained this is typical for Poly or ENM relationships. Can someone help me understand? Because something in the water just isn't wet here in my opinion.

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1y

“I want to have XYZ but you cannot have XYZ because I said so.” - does it sound right? Doesn’t matter what xyz stands for: a partner, free time, privacy, a unicorn… this is not an equal partnership when one side makes a decision for both parties that only one will have some exclusive benefits.

1y

He's just being controlling and selfish in my opinion. It's a small display of egomania in that hes allowed to have what he wants despite consideration for, or a pre-agreed upon dynamic with your friend. Honestly if that's the case and she wants a better relationship in which she's valued for who she is I'd suggest she find a new bf🤷

1y

That's not normal for poly relationship. He just wants options. True polys are clear with boundaries and communication. He needs to seek help and if she enables this behavior she'll end up hurt

1y

He's using her to get another chick before dumping her. She needs to respect herself and leave.

1y

Something in the water isn't wet 🤣 first time I've ever heard that lol and that doesn't sound poly to me sounds like scumbag behaviour

1y
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1y

That isn't being true poly. Thats more like being selfish and insecure. Me and my wife have been poly for years. She has dated her bf and gf for 3. While I have had relationships sprinkled through out. We dont get jealous or insecure at this point. Just support, trust, and love each other. Thats proper poly. Though if they dated someone together because all 3 wanted it and it wasn't a forced thing that would be poly as well. But never rules of no other guys or people for one while the other gets it. Thats more of a harem

1y

He's not poly, he's just controlling and manipulative. As a true poly person, you should want the love for your partner that you want for yourself (edited)

10mo

This is absolutely NOT polyamory. It's an insecure man trying to coherse multiple women into one- sided relationships. SO many red flags.

8mo

Not at all normal for most poly relationships.

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