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Universes
Posted Sunday, April 21, 2024
1y
INTP
Taurus
Not seeking advice as much as looking to hear other people's experience:
I've noticed a tendency where people end up in a relationship before really talking to each other about what kind of time commitment they expect. I've heard it more often than I'd like where one partner feels smothered while the other feels I guess lonely? Unattended to? Some people I know are perfectly fine not hearing from their partner for a few days, whereas in other cases I've seen this worry people. It seems like something you'd want to address before things get to much invested or whatever, ya know? Why does it not seem to come up sooner do you think?
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Joel
1y
INFP
Sagittarius
1 Award
I think also sometimes people have expectations that things can/will change. Sometimes people convince themselves of it and blind themselves to the reality that they have different communication styles and refuse to work on it or with their partner to create effective communication between the two.
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0
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Nora
1y
INTP
Pisces
I have had this experience so much! And even outside of attachment styles and tendencies, people just have different relational needs and intensities. I have so many hobbies and interests that even if I wanted to spend a ton of time with someone(s) I would start to feel like I couldn't do those other things, too! And some others like to have relationships as a major component that gives them value and satisfaction. It's all so valid. I love when some people can get into "parallel play" - ie doing different things but still in the same space. I do wish that people would talk about these things before getting into more intimate and focused parts of a relationship. (edited)
2
0
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Kat
1y
ENFP
Sagittarius
Attachment styles, maturity, desperation but I think before all that probably the excitement of the "honeymoon stage" or Infatuation
1
0
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