Julius Green

Posted Wednesday, December 6, 2023

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

Should I wait before telling someone I don't want kids, or do I tell them up front?

I've gotten a chance to deeply know someone, to where I thought I finally found one. But The moment I said I don't want any children , she immediately stops taking to me

2

19

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Martha

2mo

INTP
Scorpio

4w5

4

5

I'd start at the beginning. You save yourself the trouble and disappointment

4

4

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Letícia

2mo

INFP
Gemini

2w1

2

1

0

0

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

Okay, i understand. But how? Do I just ask if they want kids? Do I strike small talk first? I never know the time to do these kinds of things. Because for it to be the very first thing I ask someone is...I don't know

0

1

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Martha

2mo

INTP
Scorpio

4w5

4

5

@Julius Green let it come up naturally...I don't know maybe you're in the park or walking by and see a family with kids, you can make a comment on the kids or the family and then maybe say I want my kids to so and so or something along the lines. You'll think of something.

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1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

@Martha I understand, but saying "I want my kids to stay in heaven" is... not ideal. I really do not want my kids to be in this world that grows ever so destructive. Even if there is no heavenly "place". To rise up out of the ashes of society and the divine design of things. I just prefer to not have my children live in this ungodly world. Unless I find a place of solitude from society and a government, I really don't want to have any. No matter how good or bad my life is.

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0

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Jose

2mo

ENFJ
Capricorn

7w8

7

8

To be honest (if you are talking about telling that on people you match in this app), it should be something you should add to your profile. There is an option that allows you to show you dont want kids. Most dating apps have something similar too. It is better if you select that, because alot of people feel strongly about that choice. And if they want kids, and you dont want kids, thats definitely a dealbreaker for the other person, and for you. So, in the end, you guys are just waisting time because you will undoubtedly hit that wall. Family plans is a dealbreaker for everyone, unless they select open to children, otherwise, you can definitely infer they selecting having children or not having children is a constant that will never change (even if in the future it changes out of no where).

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1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

I understand completely. Thank you. I should filter my matches to only show women who doesn't want kids. And who doesn't already have kids.

1

0

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Kai

2mo

ISTJ
Capricorn

7w8

7

8

I've been in the same boat. It's hard dating as a Christian girl who doesn't want children. Christian men want families and half the time big families. My brother and I were debating about this. I think you should bring it up pretty early to avoid wasting anybody's time. He thinks you should get to know each other well first because someone can change their mind once they get to know the other. I still say don't risk wasting your time. People are usually pretty passionate about that lifestyle. Bring it up on the first date. It can be cringe. You gotta be smooth. Best~

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1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

I understand. I'm more spiritual myself, and I do not want children in this ungodly world where most people sadly won't make it. I feel that having a child would take away the time I'd have to learn about what truly lies within the world.

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0

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Liz

2mo

INTJ
Leo

9w1

9

1

Upfront thats a huge deal breaker for those that want kids.

0

1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

I understand...

0

0

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Oaklen Haney

2mo

INFP
Libra

9w1

9

1

If you tell them in the beginning, you're able to know then how they feel about that and whether they're right for you. You don't want to have that talk months after you meet them, that'll be more awkward.

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1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

Thank you man. People just tell me yes or no, but you actually give it some explanation to where I can understand it fully. I appreciate you.

1

0

Reply

Kory

2mo

INFP
Pisces

Up front alwaaaaays dude, better to go thru the dealbreakers now versus wait and hope one of you changes your minds later

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1

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Julius Green

2mo

INTP
Virgo

2w1

2

1

I understand that. I guess it is a pretty big deal.

0

0

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Connor

2mo

INTP
Aries

8w9

8

9

The best thing to do is be 100% honest about everything straight up front. If y'all have an idea that is very much conflicting with one another, don't be afraid to talk about it. If you're afraid to talk about the minor things now, you'll be afraid to talk about major things later

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