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Universes
![Jesse](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/j6z59kGtglOdXl5vkqzRDLA7WyF3/17047635742416d71f89e26bd5265de3e20229134c913.jpg?class=xs)
Posted Thursday, July 18, 2024
1mo
ENFJ
Pisces
It's not shocking, it's just disappointing.
Sorry this is gonna be a stream of conscious style of post. When my spouse and I announced our decision to separate and ultimately divorce, we knew it would be met in our world with a range of reactions. One such reaction, I anticipated and sure enough came true was how many responded with "what did he do"? "Can he be forgiven"? "Well you're better off, men don't know what being married means". The instant reactions that I must've done something wrong. It had to be my fault. I'm a he so it couldn't be she is the problem. Was as easy to anticipate as a iron plugged in is hot. Now to her credit my ex has really gone to bat for me. Each time she responds "he did nothing wrong. He was the best husband he could be to me. We just grew apart". So forth and so on. I'm greatful to her that she isn't entertaining the she has to be the victim here. However, she was shocked to see how little I reacted when she would tell me about these situations. I would just say "yeah" or "huh" or "oh well". She said if it were her she'd be furious that people so quickly thought so poorly of her. I told her "it's not shocking. Most people will assume the man messed up somehow. We're conditioned to think so as a society". I'd tell her look at the posts you see where a woman is being genuinely happy with what he provides, his efforts, what he brings to the table. So many of the reactions are "as he should" or "oh you mean he's an adult in a relationship"? Or "the bar for men is in hell". She's really shocked that I don't care to defend myself. That I literally just keep on and don't bat an eye I just move on from that person. For me there's just no point to. My spouse and I after 16 years together, 8 of those married, have just run our course. The love that was there faded. Some people don't understand that. There has to be someone at fault. There has to be some villain, and most of the time the default is the man has to be at fault. When your partner tells you "you've given me everything you can. You've tried to make me as happy as you can. I keep trying to make myself feel that love for you still, but I can't, it's gone". There's really not much else to say. Things come to an end. So no, I'm not shocked that so many people in our lives immediate reaction was to blame the man. It's disappointing but not shocking.
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Thoughts Community
The thoughts community, chat, and discussion.
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6.7K SOULS
![Azrael](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/CY1pBz8Q2uZlpv3wEvpRhv5fHbA2/1725745298490077e65255321b9b50af270954c1790ad.jpg?class=xs)
Azrael
1mo
ENTJ
Libra
Not to gaslight you… but as a woman that has never been married… I am constantly hearing about how women don’t know how to be a wife and all that jazz… Bottom line is people are hooked on seperation/division and if they are one of the people hooked on it and different from them they are going to make sure you feel it… even though everyone is different, including them. So yea, its not ‘the world is against/blaming men’ Its ‘the world is in a terrible place where it doesn’t know how to accept hard parts of life so its constantly othering everyone and thing to their own detriment’. And now you just took the bait and passed that pain right on. Gosh i wish trickle down theory worked this well with money. Cause its full proof with abuse :(
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![No](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/oUNBFlf2tLN3WgieWu3oCfigKHN2/167931511666686fdf5ac5f2a68484a5b3dc0b7b388ec.jpg?class=xs)
No
1mo
INTJ
Sagittarius
I also hear about single women not knowing how to be wives, from single men looking for wives. Apples to oranges
0
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Still shy though 🥺👉👈
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0
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8 Awards
noticing...
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88
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ISFJ
Capricorn
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#memes
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If only...
Imagine if everyone puts their maximum effort instead of the bare minimum 🤔 #thoughts #quotes #quotesoftheday #relationship #dating
![If only...](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/questions/66cb33e3e2e8ab6e78d1b104/1724593129154673429f12c76101056e5901e425a04ea.jpg?class=xl)
129
29
#thoughts
![Sarah](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/VTwzXP2FdRUstdLVdrKARUbZEEl2/1723917944617e8c57c0df0c14c414e64cc8a0fb9a6d7.jpg?class=xs)
16d
ISTJ
Leo
5 Awards
It's my birthday today
Don't feel any different being 40 😏 survived another year I guess Yay 😑.
![It's my birthday today](https://media.tenor.com/nhSud6874KkAAAAM/cher-birthday.gif)
162
54
#thoughts
![ElissaTrue](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/nJq1kdDDiVSLTGUudW1kfbgZysm2/1725635233261687932bd3a667c114aad9b347bfd91c4.jpg?class=xs)
1d
INFJ
Aquarius
Morning 💭.....🌬️🌊
Happy Friday everyone.🌸 It's early morning here and I was just contemplating how life comes in waves both the good and the bad. Each day we choose how we will react and respond to everything and everyone. Being mostly introverted I need time to refresh myself like most introverts. You can call... read more
5
5
#poetry
![🌹](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/wZQ7IT79jOgGT9HMk0CsquQO15i1/17123815415302f90ee47a1c339111379bf54b98bc9cd.jpg?class=xs)
1d
ISFJ
Capricorn
..........
by 🌹 Whispers fall like quiet rain..... Softly waiting to explain..... Thoughts left hanging in the air..... Hidden truths we wouldn’t dare. #poem #writing #thoughts #rain (edited)
![..........](https://media.tenor.com/AXqsuLbKXTcAAAAM/coffee_books_rain-silent.gif)
2
0
#thoughts
![ElissaTrue](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/nJq1kdDDiVSLTGUudW1kfbgZysm2/1725635233261687932bd3a667c114aad9b347bfd91c4.jpg?class=xs)
7d
INFJ
Aquarius
1 Award
Conversations 🧐🙄🙄🧐
So I was talking to someone I have known for awhile now the other day He was being completely open and honest which I respect 💯 He was saying men cannot be just friends with a woman. He even said that listening to a woman explain her daily moments good and bad, past events and and griefs were all... (edited) read more
19
96
#thoughts
![Euphoria](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/BS4gUKHwWSYQa2985dOwJ8crwo82/1719244368315255b21a5c187aec612e14e9eebeb784a.jpg?class=xs)
1d
INFJ
Gemini
Rain and Good Vibes
Something about driving in the rain that is so soothing and calming. #tgif #rain #driving
20
5
#thoughts
![Euphoria](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/BS4gUKHwWSYQa2985dOwJ8crwo82/1719244368315255b21a5c187aec612e14e9eebeb784a.jpg?class=xs)
5d
INFJ
Gemini
💯
Trauma makes you tolerate a lot of sh*t you don't deserve because you don't want to feel alone. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve access to your life, no matter how much you love them.
26
14