Becca

Posted Saturday, March 9, 2024

1mo

INFP

Scorpio

9

1

Confessions of a Multidimensional Spinster

Dear Mr. Carter, Did you get the letters I never sent? My mother commented on my marital status the other day. She's so strange how she goes back and forth. On the one hand she says I'm not the marrying type. On the other, she says she'll pray for me to find a partner. Bro, if I'm ugly just say that! What's with the mixed messages? I mean... Am... Should... Should I be more concerned? Should I be trying harder to find love or connection or even fulfillment? Is it sad that I have so completely surrendered to mediocrity? I can't help it. I got distracted by comfort. I asked my mother, "Where will I find a man that reads Kundera and listens to lil Wayne?" I wasn't speaking to the specifics of the media, moreso addressing my turbulent nature and the inability of the general populous to entertain my... Intensities... Honestly, no one should be subjected to me 24/7. I admit this... So... What are we doing here? I once met the love of my life. I wasn't enough for him. He asked me to collect him a harem of women, talented in a variety of subjects. He wanted musicians and artists and dancers. I was too shy to tell him I can play 10 instruments and am practiced in three methods of dance and that I studied art for three years... I was too shy to tell him I am everything he ever wanted and too prideful to ask him to stay. He said I was his favorite. I wonder if he thinks of me. Do you think of me when you dream of who you will love? I don't dream of you. I don't dream. I don't know what I want. Does anyone? Seeking - A leader - Mindfulness - Late night conversations - Laughter in all situations - Must love dogs, but hate romantic comedies - Must be aware and up front about negative characteristics - Must be slightly suspicious - Jealousy. God is jealous. Why aren't you? Mortal. - Nature & Science Documentaries - Obscure Non-fiction - Even more obscure fiction - Theologian - Insatiable Curiosity Can you catch a frivolous creature? I don't know how. My attention span is shorter than the color blue I was once reading about self-love because it's something I don't understand and the only thing that stuck with me is when an author said this - that if you have more negative attributes than good, that you are lucky, because someone will love your negative aspects more than your good and these will endear you to them. Only this has ever given me any hope. I have no hope that you will love me if you are able to find me. I have no hope that I will be able to love you. Maybe it's this. Maybe you'll have to give me no choice but to love you... But you'll have to find me first... Always with love, Gomer