Christian

Posted Saturday, August 13, 2022

1y

ENFP

Libra

Feelings

Feelings hitting hard and no one to open up to. Y'all just wouldn't understand the pain behind these curtains I have put up. To fool you...to fool me. The realist thing ever is no one will understand the true me... The feeling of being lost in my own mind and on the brink of defeat. This feeling I can't subside I might just retreat. I drink so much to numb the pain but damn it hurts seeing how I can't wash it away. I failed as a father and failed as a husband, I wish I could see my brother just one more time. He saw through the lies and the pain behind my eyes. He was there to pick me up when all I wanted to do was cry. Heaven took a good one that I can guaranty. So now I'm fighting my last fight and no one's on my team. I'm losing bad and I'm begging please Lord just set me free.The way I'm there for so many but in reality who's there for me. I know the words to help people through there pain but when I look in the mirror all I see is someone who has nothing to gain. Because I've lost everything and so much more. I even chose to close the wrong doors. So I sit here typing this out feeling everything even doubt. I wish I could go back and change what I've done but thing is I might also just run.