Posted Tuesday, October 15, 2024
1y
ENFJ
Pisces
7Idk what to do
I'm 34, my bf is 40, Sunday night we spent some time together but didn't get physical. I tried to initiate, he asked me what time it was. It was 730pm and he wanted to go home cause he had work. We were intimate on Fri. I texted him 15min ago asking if he was disappointed we didn't have time for that or if I'm alone about it. He still hasn't even read my message from 22min before that message and that one wasn't important in any way. I think he might be asleep.... I started feeling pretty depressed because I'm not sure how to adapt to how often he wants to be intimate since he's the one who said Fri that he should've brought a blue pill with him but didn't seem to have an issue that would warrant that. I'm feeling pretty confused. I'm finally happy outside the bedroom but we're hardly ever in my bedroom. I don't doubt he's into me physically, so could it be that he doesn't want to be intimate because of ED?
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1M SOULS
London
1y
INTJ
Capricorn
4I would just say, “sorry, I’m just over thinking, and I was hoping we could talk. But, I know you’re tired, so I hope you sleep well, and I will talk to you tomorrow.” Then, when things are calm, tell him you’d like it if you guys can talk about something that’s on your mind, but reassure him that it’s not a big deal, or a problem, and you just want to talk. Be sweet, and have a go with the flow type of attitude. That way, he will be more open and receptive. Then, when you do talk, just tell him that you would love if you two spend more intimate time together. Maybe ask him very calmly and empathetically, if there’s anything going on that could be affecting him. Just let him know you’re there for him, and be as supportive as you can. If he is having some kind of ED situation going on, he will probably be uncomfortable, stressed, and worried about not being able to please you the way he wants to, as in how often you’re wanting intimacy. I agree with Chris, that you don’t want to freak out about it, because that will make him stress out more, and that would make the situation worse in more ways than one. My ex and I went through that, and it turned out work was stressing him out. I was upset because it made me feel bad about myself, I reacted, and it led to fights. It’s really good that you know he’s into you physically, hold onto that. Because, I think if you’re supportive and calm about it, not only will it help him to feel comfortable opening up to you, it could lead to more intimacy, and also bring you two closer.
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