Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Question

Basically just a self pity rant, feel free to skip. 
Dating is difficult, and it doesn't help that every attempt at dating I've made in the last 10 years has been met with no immediately, not even a first date (usually in the form of "You're a great guy, nice, sweet, smart, etc... but you're just not my type"). On top of that, in the last ten years I've lived in five different states and have no idea where I'll be next few years. Now I'm 33 and I'm at the point where I just feel nobody is interested or I have to drop my standards. I want a wife, I want kids, I want a family, but I also feel like if I wake up every morning looking at a woman that I only picked because she's the only person left it wouldn't be fair to either me or her, and yes I fully understand how many take that as a red flag, but who's really happy knowing they've settled with something because they dropped their standards, or they were the one settled for because their partner did such? (that's the role I played in my last relationship, the guy who was settled for because my friend wasn't interested. Then she cheated on me because I wasn't who she wanted anyway) But anyways, I'm beginning to feel like if I don't find one soon, then even if i do later it'll be too late as whomever I'm with will be too old to safely have kids. And I don't want to adopt yet because, once again, that feels like I've given up. However, with a decade of zero interest and constant moving around I find it hard to put myself out there to find someone to make me living the rest of my life alone anything but a self fulfilling prophecy. Now, to the majority of people who blame my personality, I get it, I really do, if blame that too if I was given even a single first date to screw up, which i have yet to receive. Further, I'm not the one vouching for my personality, instead it's all my friends and family that "can't understand how, with my personality, I'm not already in a relationship" and "any woman would love to have a man like you, how are you still single?" Honestly it's exhausting and is the reason I'm on apps like this even though I know they won't work anyways. So yeah, my loneliness is a self fulling prophecy, I don't like it, but I get it, and I'm on the verge of just giving up and letting cats fill the void in my soul until I die, even if it's just a little. Or if truck-kun could hurry up and Isekei me into another world where I have actual relevance, that would work too.

JJ · Accepted Answer

If you’re pursuing women who want something you can’t provide, you’re going to set yourself up for a lot of disappointment. Rather than talking about “lowering” your standards, make sure your goals are reasonable and that you are willing and able to be flexible to accommodate a partner’s needs.

Pregnancy is extremely difficult and modern women do not want to be stuck doing the lion’s share of the work and sacrificing all other aspects of her life to do so. If you travel and move around a lot, obviously that’s a big reason why it hasn’t been attainable. You’ll have to decide whether you want kids badly enough to switch careers.

Jelena · Answer

Wow that was a lot 😅 i relate to it aswell 🫠

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Romance Community

Wow that was a lot 😅 i relate to it aswell 🫠

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