Azaziel

Posted Wednesday, June 28, 2023

11mo

INTP

Sagittarius

4

5

Reminiscent Death

Perdition; when they tell you about dying, they never talk about 'this' My head feels like it is going to explode My mouth tastes of rusted metal... my mouth is so dry... I am thirsty, but I want not drink I am hungry, but I care not for food The air is like knives, tearing at my throat... at my lungs... Are those jungle drums I hear? No... it is my heart But that... cannot be... for my heart, no longer sits in my chest, I can see it, there on the ground A repulsing lump of flesh splattering crimson fluid all about it Even now it is still beating Like a beached fish in its last moments it struggles and splutters I do not know... how long it has been lying there, probably but a few seconds, but it feels like years What I see is not my life that has happened, but what could have happened, what may have happened... had I not been such a coward Look at me now; the persistent fool, that wanted to play at being God.... The fool who thought he could love and forget, want and won't remember... I thought, I could change my life Change what no man could ever ever change You cannot choose to love, you just love But this marauder fought a lost battle Fought it with a rusted sword an armor full of holes, and a cardboard shield " for no other battle is worth fighting" he lied to himself Well look at me now; I realized too late... I can only stand and watch, as the scarlet streams flow down to my feet Soon, I shall no longer be able to stand, or even think... Soon, this life will leave me, move on to better things... This husk that holds my soul will fall, and be consumed by maggots and all manner of creatures, a sacrilege that will go unnoticed, in the greater scheme of things I wonder if, on my last thought; I will think of her? And after i pass, will see the bright light that everyone talks of? Or will I see nothing... feel nothing... know nothing....... (edited)