We use cookies on our website for a number of purposes, including analytics, performance, and advertising. Learn more.
OK!
Boo
SIGN IN
2.1M souls
223K souls
59K souls
16K souls
11K souls
10K souls
4.5K souls
527 souls
166 souls
102 souls
39 souls
32 souls
31 souls
27 souls
25 souls
25 souls
24 souls
23 souls
23 souls
22 souls
22 souls
22 souls
18 souls
16 souls
16 souls
15 souls
14 souls
14 souls
10 souls
10 souls
10 souls
8 souls
7 souls
7 souls
7 souls
6 souls
5 souls
5 souls
5 souls
4 souls
4 souls
4 souls
4 souls
3 souls
3 souls
3 souls
3 souls
2 souls
2 souls
2 souls
2 souls
1 souls
1 souls
1 souls
1 souls
1 souls
1 souls
0 souls
Universes
Posted Thursday, March 9, 2023
2y
ISFJ
Leo
Has everyone forgotten the origins of our marriage traditions? tl:dr
Ugh. Why do so many people feel the need for marriage? I knew all this stuff before marriages #2 and #3, but went through with them anyway because the exes needed health insurance (marriage #1 was because I had one child with him and another on the way). Let's get into these traditions, shall we? I'll attempt to do them mostly in chronological order. 1. We all know (and hate!) 'obey' so we'll skip that one as obvious... 2. The origin of the engagement ring: Back in the day, the only property a woman could own was her clothing and jewelry. Because there was a (mandatory) two-month mourning period before a (mandatory) remarriage, the woman needed a way to keep herself and her children alive. In order to cover these two months, the woman needed jewelry that she could use to barter for the goods she needed. This meant something that she could easily secure and protect (typically a ring or broach) comprised of a valuable metal and multiple stones of miscellaneous value. A stone could be pried from its setting to cover debts or purchases. In order to prove his ability to care for his wife even after his death, this jewelry was part of his side of the contract. (Note: gold thread used to sew or decorate dresses also could be sold.) 3. Dowry (aka bride price): Because a woman wasn't allowed to own property (and because she herself was a commodity), many families would pay their way into a family of higher standing by conveying money, items, or real property with the bride. Conversely, the dowry or bride price could be money or goods paid to the family of a higher-status bride to purchase a standing in the 'better' family. This could also be a way to purchase property or goods that conveyed with the bride, but which she herself could not own. These monies and properties could also be paid both directions for the same marriage, effectively canceling one another but still symbolizing the original purpose. (Note: many times, a family member of a deceased husband would marry the widow in order to keep her property in the husband's family.) 4. Wedding procedures: Posting / reading of the banns was effectively a variation of 'let he who has objection speak now or forever hold his peace' Wedding bands were symbolic of eternity, fealty, love, etc, but were usually worn only by the wife until the 1940s. While these weren't ostensibly symbolic of ownership, it's kind of obvious that she's already taken, right? 5. Marriage license: Basically proof of purchase and ownership. 6. Virginity at marriage: Since this was pre-paternity-test, the only way to guarantee the likelihood that the eldest child was the child of the husband, he had to be her 'first'... in many cultures there were also traditions surrounding her deflowering; in some, there was a display of the bloodied bedding, and there were actually some where people had to be in the room during the event. (Note: this doesn't include cultures that practice genital mutilation.) Okay, I know there are more but my brain is fried. Anyone want to add to this? ADDENDUM: 7. Surname: Once again, a proof of 'owned' status. The woman must have the surname of her father or husband as a form of protection; she could invoke his name in a time of duress. (Note: this was also true of enslaved peoples of many cultures, but most notably the southern states of the US.) (edited)
3
16
Comment
Feminism Community
The feminism community, chat, and discussion.
JOIN NOW
227K SOULS
Meet New People
50,000,000+
DOWNLOADS
JOIN NOW
Related Posts
#feminism
19d
INTP
Gemini
Kept alive for Harvesting
The fact that this is happening in a supposedly free country shows that Women need to still vote and fight for their rights to be protected
7
8
#feminism
24d
INFJ
Libra
Coming out.
It's kinda hard to really come out to the public and say I am perusing a huge change. I'm going to come out and say I'm proud to start my transition as a female and I would do my best to present myself in a respectful way. 😊
9
7
#feminism
4d
INFJ
Pisces
Double Standards
It’s frustrating how even in today’s world—where we talk a lot about equality—so many double standards still exist between men and women. You’d think we’d be past this by now, but somehow, women are still held to expectations that men rarely have to meet. And the worst part? Most of these things... read more
3
3
#feminism
6d
INFJ
Gemini
That’s right
4
1
#feminism
2y
INFJ
Gemini
Happy Women's Day!
For today and every day of the year. Because this fight is constant in our life 💜
12
2
#feminism
23d
INFP
To the men in my inbox expecting a relationship just bc you called me cute.
36
25
#feminism
18d
INTP
Gemini
Womens rights still need to be Fought for, it's not over
Think deeply before romanticizing the past and trivializing the struggles women have gone through to get where we are today.
7
16
#feminism
2y
INFP
Libra
Happy international Women's Day...
17
4
#feminism
7d
ENFJ
Taurus
:p
6
1
#feminism
19d
INTP
Gemini
When guys think we have equal rights but they over turned Roe vs Wade 🤔
If anyone thinks we're not still fighting for our rights as women, think about how a lot of States in America now don't even let women choose what to do with their own bodies still.
9
15
#feminism
26d
ENTJ
Isn't?
2
2
#feminism
2d
INFJ
Gemini
Yep
3
0
#feminism
24d
INFJ
Libra
Feminine Progress
I've made progress with my goal of being more feminine. Tell me what you think? What can I add?
6
0
#feminism
26d
ENTJ
Cigarette
5
2
#feminism
23d
INFP
If you're offended, then I targeted the right men.
16
10
#feminism
13d
ENTJ
Libra
Yall know that the reason why women are called hysterical during period is cause...
There is a spike up of testosterone during menstruation. Testostorene also is linked to suppressing the immune system. I'm starting to think that the hormone men pride about is actually the reason for weakness and hysterics. What is the most popular form of male entertainment nowadays? Ah right...
5
5
#feminism
25d
INFP
Ladies be careful bc men think a date is automatic consent!
11
7
#feminism
6d
ENFP
Sagittarius
Feeling cutie
3
0
#feminism
27d
INTP
Sagittarius
3 days?
Been on here for 3 days I think and eventho most people seem nice, I also was able to get a try of the men that (mostly) spammed me but also the top of the list is a dude who kept telling me his "member size".. Dont know what they except but they wont get far with this behaviour. Anyways girlies,... read more
9
9
#feminism
18d
INFJ
Pisces
🤷♀️
It’s just you missing out on all this.
5
0
#feminism
18d
INFJ
Pisces
💯
4
5
#feminism
18d
INFP
Cancer
Well well well…
10
8
#feminism
20d
INFJ
Gemini
👍🏻😃
4
3
#feminism
22d
INTP
Pisces
Ya😅
10
4
#feminism
10d
INFJ
Gemini
Wow
1
3
#feminism
26d
ENTJ
Libra
You know made the first computer?
Ada Lovelace is the grandmother to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and Linus Torvald People should respect women's rights to exist without scrutiny
4
2
#feminism
1mo
ENTJ
Virgo
<3
my side profile is lethal!! (edited)
23
6
#feminism
1mo
INFJ
Virgo
this song from aceh but iam from java☺️
22
3
#feminism
4mo
INTP
My toxic trait
What's yours?
15
10
#feminism
8mo
ENFP
Pisces
One day, a smart woman packed her things and said, "This nonsense won't be my life." And she left, starting a new happy life...💛🌞
20
9
#feminism
2mo
INFJ
Gemini
That’s right
12
9
#feminism
1mo
INFJ
Gemini
Hmm!
10
6
#feminism
9mo
INFJ
Taurus
How do yous feel about a "Girl's Girl" ?
2:33
6
12
#feminism
9mo
INTP
Libra
The Last Duel
I finished evening yesterday by watching Last Duel movie. Directed by Ridley Scott. I liked so much how he showed 3 visions of the same event... perceived by 3 different people, 2 men and 1 woman. Amazing. The different was so small, but it made all the difference between truth, crime and... read more
9
5
#feminism
9mo
ENTP
Leo
Disclaimer and more
Ok so first off I wanted to mention that the joke i had made earlier today wasn't my own and I had forgotten to add that to the end of the post. Thank you to Bryan from my previous post for mentioning it because I truly forgot. Anyways the joke was made by ariana Huffington(I believe that's right)... (edited) read more
9
8
#feminism
26d
INFJ
Gemini
What you think ladies?
0
1
#feminism
4mo
INTJ
Gemini
💡💡💡💡
¿Quién se une a mi club de la divorciadas empoderadas? Arriba las viejas divorciadas 🤣🤣🤣🤘🏼
11
2
#feminism
4mo
ENFP
1 Award
people dont actually know/forgot what feminism is
feminism is the movement to find equality and fight the sexist societal oppression women face. feminism stands for womens equal rights. feminism is NOT misandry, i repeat feminism is NOT misandry. i see many posts under #feminism that has to be rage bait, because if not its truely sad, posts... (edited) read more
8
14