Lately, the boundary that I'm working on is having to do with giving people space while also fighting my internal demons that are telling me I'm not wanted around. I've met some really cool people who live all over the country and in other countries. They are all super great and I want to be friends with these people for a long time, but these thoughts have been taking over my brain. It's been really hard today. I thought work would distract my mind but these internal voices keep telling me that I'm a nuisance and that I'm not welcomed. They tell me that my friends only talk to me because they have pitty for me. I'm in therapy and I'm learning to fight these thoughts and I'm learning to be uncomfortable with them rather than running away. By that I mean that I don't give in to the urge to just ghost people or tell them that I can't be friends with them anymore because it really is sabotage when I do that to myself. I'm just scared. I'm scared to lose these people as friends and I'm scared to get close because I don't want to burden them with my issues for fear that my problems push them away. I'm scared I'll sabotage myself and end up alone. I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared to be unloveable. I just want to be cared for. I want to be loved. I just had to share... Thanks for reading. (edited)

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Zeniriah

2mo

INTP

Libra

I cannot speak for anyone else but I know I am never friends with someone out of pity. If I'm expressing interest it's because I'm interested. I would hazard a guess that most people are similar.

Goddess

1mo

ENFP

Pisces

Thank you for your vulnerability in this share. I know that words are easier said than loved but it sounds like you're doing a great job. When I first started my journey of breaking down my people pleasing I has similar questions. Will they not want to be my friend when they don't benefit from me? Will they like me if I disagree? From experience I will tell you that anyone meant to be in your life will accept you for who you are when you are. Maybe vocalize to these new friends on your struggles to get support. Maybe ask for consistent positive affirmations. The biggest part, which it sounds like you're aware of, is breaking the pattern. Determining who was the first one to make you feel that way and rewriting it in your mind to remember it's a false narrative that more than likely isn't even your own opinion. Good luck and know you are supported

Zach-Alias

2mo

INFP

Libra

I genuinely hope things improve for you, stay strong. Everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated, including you. I have my own demons and struggles, and I can relate somewhat. But if you truly believe you can do it, you will.

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Danli Divine

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Virgo

What is a boundary you have that people seem to keep trying to overstep?

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Rosy

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INTJ

Capricorn

Still sick.

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Capricorn

Common misconception.

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Vann

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Libra

Not Nice - A Great book

If you’ve struggled with setting boundaries or just saying no when you want to, I highly recommend this one.

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Leo

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Sometimes, you just have to tell people, "Look, I love you, and I'll probably love you forever, but I'm no longer interested in the level of life you have to offer me. Because of that, I have to let you go. I'm not even asking you to change, I just need you to understand that you can keep doing... read more

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Cancer

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Capricorn

Define your own values.

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INTJ

Capricorn

1 Award

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mark

1mo

INFP

Leo

Me too girl, me too

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#communication

Rosy

4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

Stick to your boundaries.

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Rosy

3mo

INTJ

Capricorn

The constant vigilance and adapting which is needed is exhausting...

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Tired but we alive. 🧸🥳

I've been quite tired these days so I bought a teddybear for comfort. 🥹 #chronicillness #depression #multiplesclerosis #cfs #neurological #health #tired #selfacceptance #selfcare #communicatingdirectly #boundaries #values #respect #selfcare #mentalawareness #mentalhealth #awareness #alone #bed... (edited) read more

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ENTJ

Gemini

I would

be in trouble without block button but on the other side what if it didn't exist? 😱😬😱

#selfiee

Kyrie

4mo

INFJ

Virgo

Turned 41 recently! 🎂 Learning to love myself, it's never too late! ❤️

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Rosy

4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

4 Awards

Don't assume anything about invisible disabilities. 🧸

#polyamory

Rosy

3mo

INTJ

Capricorn

Polyamory analogy. 🩷

#polyamory #enm #donthate #loveislove #beyou #liveyourlife #communication #communicationiskey #communicatingdirectly #boundaries #values #respect #selfcare #mentalawareness #mentalhealth #relationshipadvice #real #realrelationship #life #lifeadvice #love #commitment It's an analogy. People in the... (edited) read more

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4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

invisible illness

#relationship

Monica

4mo

INFP

Cancer

🖤

#selfworth #healthyrelationship #boundaries

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4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

How it is!

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Andi

4mo

ENFP

Sagittarius

Nikita Gill

#boundaries

Andi

4mo

ENFP

Sagittarius

#zerotolerance

#multiplesclerosis

Rosy

4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

What is MS?

MS is a chronic neurological autoimmune disease. Chronic means that there's no cure for it and its effects often reach all aspects of life. It's different for everyone, as is everything, but don't invalidate someone's illness just because it's invisible. 🦋 #chronicillness #chronicfatigue... (edited) read more

#polyamory

Rosy

4mo

INTJ

Capricorn

2 Awards

For the people who don't understand. 💞

#boundaries

Fiona

5mo

INFJ

Gemini

Set boundaries 💯

#boundaries

Allison

8mo

INFP

Virgo

Boundaries!!

Okay hi! 1. I'm only looking for friends on here. 2. Don't ask me about my sisters and suggest we should go to dinner together that's a BIG NO. 3. Have respect and you'll get respect back. I could go on but I don't have the right words to actually put it into words to explain myself.

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Wulan

9mo

INFJ

Virgo

The Truth About Men DeVon Franklin

Respect is critical to ensure the health of any relationship. Boundaries help keep threats to the relationship at bay and provide protection to those within

#boundaries

Jerah 🌻

11mo

INFJ

Capricorn

1 Award

Working on Boundaries

Boundaries Community

I cannot speak for anyone else but I know I am never friends with someone out of pity. If I'm expressing interest it's because I'm interested. I would hazard a guess that most people are similar.

I genuinely hope things improve for you, stay strong. Everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated, including you. I have my own demons and struggles, and I can relate somewhat. But if you truly believe you can do it, you will.

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