Recently, I got along really well with this guy. I asked him if he had kids and he said no. I was like "ohh okay because I don't think I could date someone that has kids because that's like a deal breaker for me". He was like "why" and when I explained, he said that it was too much hypocrisy. Listen, if you see things from the perspective of someone that doesn't have children yet, it's like a different experience. You're not just inviting one person into your life, you’re inviting the person you're interested in, their child or children and the mother or father of the child/children. That's a lot for someone that never had that experience. Any problems the parents may have with each other can potentially leak into a new relationship when the person they’re dating is not made aware of any tension. All im saying is that a lot of factors come into play when a person that doesn’t have children yet runs into someone that has a child/children.

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Will

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I see nothing wrong with knowing what you want. You have a concrete preference, with legit reasons, he needs to grow up a bit.

Kyle

1mo

ENTP

Leo

I'm not saying any of this to change your mind, because yeah it is a big decision to make, dating someone that already has a child. I did date, and marry a woman with a one-year-old. I think joining their lives when her son was so young made certain things easier. I was just "another dad," instead of him looking at me like I was a wannabe replacement. My ex-wife also made sure that 99% of the time, she dealt with her ex husband and together we made sure their former marriage didn't spill into ours. Everybody brings some kind of baggage to the table, and certain people are better equipped to handle different types of baggage than others. I've always enjoyed kids, and wanted a family, so it didn't scare me as much as most of my friends (many who even warned me against dating her BECAUSE she had a kid already). But, now that we're divorced I have no rights to see my stepson, which isn't something I expected to deal with at the beginning of our relationship... and it's something very hard to not only lose someone I fell in love with, but someone I was "Dad" to for 15 years. There are definitely risks dating someone with kids, so if that isn't something you want to risk, stick to your guns. (edited)

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If you read this you're not a NPC (NON PLAYABLE CHARACTER)

So, let’s be real..everyone has their preferences and expectations when looking for someone. And that’s fine. But if your standards are set unrealistically high, you might be making it harder for yourself to find a real connection. Not everyone is going to get their version of the "perfect"... read more

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