How Has Your Perception Of Love Changed Over Time?

Question

When I was younger, I thought it was anyone who said a kind word to me, showed me but an ounce of attention. And that was enough to me.

Through a series of abusive relationships and trauma, I realised I had settled, because I thought I couldn't possibly be worthy of real love. As self-deprecating as I am, something in me changed after all those years. I felt there had to be more, and this idea of someone who could be unconditional, and accept me completely, without judgement, and a daily want to be a part of my life, to share in it with me. Total reciprocation in every sense of the word. And he found me here, when I wasn't looking. Those fairytale romances are true. They're real. I know that now, because I'm somehow lucky enough to have that. I could want for nothing more.

Nathan · Accepted Answer

One big change is that when I was in my first relationship as a teen I equated love and the feeling of being in love (aka cathexis/ libidinal energy), now I'm older I can see the difference between that and consciously loving someone.

Scott · Answer

My perception of love now is that it causes pain and I'm unsure if I even have the capacity to love again.

Franz the dreamer · Answer

I always believed in unconditional love  but alas after many fails I think there is no such thing and i grew extremely weary of dating

Jacob · Answer

Here is what I have learned

Negatives.
- all love starts as the promise of a day dream, but may turn into a nightmare at any moment.
- You believe your relationship is the exception 
- People can walk away or wrong you for any reason THEY deem fit.
- The choice to stay or go isn't always yours or agreed upon.
- When it ends the feelings don't go away, they just change

Positives
- The support can give you the courage & motive to be the best version of yourself.
- You have reasons for things beyond yourself that are powerful
- Your social circle expands & you develop unexpected friendships
- Taking care of people feels good & makes you more generous. 
- You get better at dealing with people

How Has Your Perception Of Love Changed Over Time?

Romance Community

One big change is that when I was in my first relationship as a teen I equated love and the feeling of being in love (aka cathexis/ libidinal energy), now I'm older I can see the difference between that and consciously loving someone.

My perception of love now is that it causes pain and I'm unsure if I even have the capacity to love again.

I always believed in unconditional love but alas after many fails I think there is no such thing and i grew extremely weary of dating

Related Posts

Accurate

🤦‍♀️

Why I Keep Watch for Him

What is it?

Clear

👀👉🏼👈🏼