Moana

Posted Wednesday, December 6, 2023

2mo

ENFJ
Cancer

2w1

2

1

What is your philosophy about this kind of life situation?

You are staying at your friend's home or your sibling's home (together with their family; wife and kids) and at breakfast time, they prepare something nice only for themselves and you all sit at the table and they all eat comfortably infront of you as you sip some hot water ginger water that you made for yourself. You are staying at this home because you got an emergency and your sibling/friend just offered to help you and give you a place to stay as you find a place for yourself. But you also offer to buy some necessities of the home like some of the breakfast they just ate infront of you!! And you always try to buy snacks for everyone. This is my situation and fine, I told them one time that I don't like to eat dinner because I sleep badly if I do BUT I still don't think that is a good explanation for this. Most of the time, I am clearly just trying my best Not to be burden and Not to inconvenience them as much as possible so I can be polite and say that I don't need something even when I may need it. My personal view is that that is a bit too insensitive. I just cannot comfortably eat something infront of a friend without offering them some. If I really don't want to share, then I will eat when they are not around. I don't have hard feelings towards these people. I think we are just very different.

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Angel

2mo

INFJ
Libra

This is not some idea, however I am so sorry to hear this. You deserved the meal, just the same. I went through this when living with family in a hard time. Remember, not everyone has the same heart as you. They will learn their lessons when the time is right for them. In the meantime, it is important to see the beauty and intent in your own soul, and that you will not have the burden of needing to learn this lesson. I pray you find the love you deserve, be it from friends, a partner, family. I pray also that you see yourself and can hold your head high knowing exactly who you truly are.

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Moana

2mo

ENFJ
Cancer

2w1

2

1

Thank you Angel. That is comforting. It is also nice to just see someone else who understands this.

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1

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Angel

2mo

INFJ
Libra

@Moana Of course. I think some people can be on a fence about being giving and feeling like they've done too much for someone. I don't believe you can do too much for someone UNLESS it is keeping them from doing things for themselves. And if you can afford it, I agree with @Adan take yourself out to breakfast and don't take their actions personally. It's okay. Things can hurt when we focus too much energy on them. Sometimes people are cruel because of what goes on in their own head. Since you can't read their mind, you can at least be in control of your own. You could also get up early and make yourself some breakfast. Maybe watch something that inspires you, or listen to a podcast, or even some music that makes you feel at peace. Again, it may hurt a bit, but you can empower and distract yourself. I hope you take care of yourself. Sending love.

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Moana

2mo

ENFJ
Cancer

2w1

2

1

@Angel Yes. You are right. I will do that. It really hurts a bit considering that it is my brother and he started off with an appearance of wanting to just help me and to take care of me. But now, he also asked me to pay for the accommodation they are offering me "as I get on my feet." Hmm. It is reality hitting me hard. I now also know how special and rare genuinely nice caring generous people are.

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0

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Adan

2mo

ISTP
Leo

It's only bad if they're not leaving you a share of the food you help paid for to cook. Is that help in replacement of rent? If so is money tight because I would go out while they are having breakfast and eat out in a breakfast joint.

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1

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Moana

2mo

ENFJ
Cancer

2w1

2

1

That is what I am planning to do. I will just wake up early and leave and come back late at night and I will leave them to enjoy their meals and their space. My brother asked me later today to actually pay him and his wife for my accommodation and other home necessities. Soo, I definitely need to get out fast because it is almost similar to me finding a cheap place for myself.

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Deactivated

2mo

ENFP

9w1

9

1

When I invite someone to stay with me, they are in their own home, which means they are allowed to & capable of feeding themselves. That person is treating you like you belong in their own home that they were kind enough to allow you to stay & you're still looking for the negative? I don't think they are the ones with the problem at all.

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1

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Moana

2mo

ENFJ
Cancer

2w1

2

1

We are all very different in the way we think and how we perceive life. I am not attacking or trying to be negative. Just acknowledging the differences in people. For example, for me, in my own home, we share. That's what makes sense to me. Meanwhile, he (my brother) just asked me to pay him and his wife for the accommodation too. Soo, it's not exactly a situation of "feel at home".

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Cookies are used to personalize your experience by ensuring that you see content based on your preferences and interests, as well as the areas in which our website may be utilized. Cookies are required for certain services available through our website, such as access to secure locations, and they are being used by some of its critical features such as secure areas access.