Now I'm not self pitying myself or anything but I'm just thinking. Dating truly is hard, but before dating let's talk about the "seeking" stage. Guys complain about women not texting first but whenever I get a match that perks my interest I'm always the one to text as soon as I match them. I never respond with a basic "hi, hru" either, that tends to be a dead end question. I always try to start the conversation off with something from their profile, post or anything that can formulate a steady conversion. But you know what happens? They don't respond. It's like "oh she talked to me. Now I got what I wanted I can go." Or another thing, I get that I'm easy to talk to but they always just come into my dms to talk about someone else. Who hurt them, who they like, whose ignoring them, whose dropping hints at them like do I look like "DEAR CHRISTINE...?" My dms is supposed to be about us. Why are we talking about other people? That's when I lose interest and disassociate because how can I care about someone who obviously cares about someone else and is only using me as an emotional toilet. Another thing is, they always run off talking about stuff in their life but no one actually ever seems interested in what I have to say...I'd send a picture or pour my heart out about something I like and all I get is a "nice" or they just continue talking about themselves or change the topic. It makes me feel like I don't matter and immediately tells me that this person doesn't care anything about me. I get guys talking about how they're "gentlemen" and "nice" and how they "like me" but they aren't and they DON'T. Their actions and behavior tell me otherwise. Just the idea of me that entices them, not the idea of actually getting to know and stay with me. Honestly speaking, I think im done with dating. I'm done trying to find someone, it's too frustrating and I don't deserve to be unhappy or mistreated. I give up. (edited)

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INFP

Virgo

it's the same with many of us guys too. smh. I'm honestly so done with online dating, but tbh just regular dating isn't much better

ENFP

Scorpio

It's a two way street, what I appreciate about this app is we have a way of getting a little insight into a person's personality profile to figure best how to engage. But at the end of the day takes two to tango and if you're just not getting the vibe then aye maybe express that and move on or try to accept another attempt at another approach, everything is reciprocation and it takes both parties to express that effort or lack thereof

INFJ

Cancer

This 🫂 I feel you that's why I lost interest here..😅 and turned my matches to be friend

ENFP

Aquarius

at first glance at your profile... i was reluctant to even write here.. but, i did any way... why you ask... no facein yourfirst pic and then just random stufffor yourpics... i have not read itbut i can see why some wouldn't waste their time but thats because i am a human and i have instincts and feelings anf well everythings elsethat peoe have that robots do not! have your self a merry little Christmas:p

ENFP

Taurus

I'd say it seems like you're talking to the wrong crowd! I saw you're from New York, so maybe that's just a trend with guys up there.... I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything, but I think I'd definitely be able to at least hold a conversation with you and talk about genuine things 😁.

ENTJ

I never knew girls get the same simplistic exploitation kinf of social experience that I and other men do. I'm even taking this with certain amount of distrust, sounds like a resume of most of my online experience. - Talking about experience, I actually don't need the online, here for the feel of partial anonimity, the real life has always worked well for me, apart from some instances of pure online luck though... What you describe is a social disease of bad upbringing, bad perception of the personal interest as function of others interests - i.e. lack of empathy - i.e. demostrated psycopath bechaviour that might be something they learned, not necessarily their internal modus operandi.... although arguably deeds are what we manifest, so we'll be judged by those, not out declarative intentions or attitude. Don't give up, march on and make small adjustments. You need at least 4-5 dates per month, or even per week to get in shape and catch the vibe that works.

INTP

Leo

i dont blame you. the social aspect of the current times is… its weird. i don’t like it, i can’t get with it the way i got with the social lifestyle of like 2010-2018. its also hard for people to not be hyperfocused on themselves. each person knows their own story better than anyone elses and will generally only have the capacity to understand their own story and no one elses. they’ll know other stories but not really understand them. dont get me wrong, I’m not perfect and i mess those things up constantly, but I’m not afraid to admit it either. its something I’ve tried to work on, but its hard even when you have caught yourself doing it, which most people don’t even catch themselves.

INTJ

Taurus

Heres what I believe: dating apps (almost any online social app) Aren't worth trying to find someone who can be compatible with your soul (after all!). The probability to get someone real (not the stupid narcissist) is close to zero. It's also hard in real life. But the chance you get is still higher. Save yourself and emotions from trying in dating apps. Let go, and work on yourself. The right perso. Will eventually come.

ENFP

Aquarius

chin up! hi i would message me if i said "hi" but that the kinda guy i am... we all perceive things in our own way, and we can't give up but rather try tp understand that we are all on our path.. that said, our paths may cross and when they do i hope upu at least just say "hi".... hope my point is clear, and ya'll enjoy this day and all theones after this.

ENFP

Capricorn

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Thoughts Community

it's the same with many of us guys too. smh. I'm honestly so done with online dating, but tbh just regular dating isn't much better

This 🫂 I feel you that's why I lost interest here..😅 and turned my matches to be friend

I'd say it seems like you're talking to the wrong crowd! I saw you're from New York, so maybe that's just a trend with guys up there.... I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything, but I think I'd definitely be able to at least hold a conversation with you and talk about genuine things 😁.

Feel better?

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December 9, 2025

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