Who pays on a date?

Question

I have had several discussions on this but I am curious about what you think. Who is supposed to pay when you go out on a date?

For me, the one who asks to go out is the one who is paying unless you've agreed upon something else. If it's unclear if it's a date or not, you pay for yours but that's just my opinion in this matter.

Sam · Accepted Answer

I'm fine with paying for my own, but I wouldn't go on another date if he let me

Lills · Answer

The guy pays but if we go out multiple times I’ll offer to pay every now and again or we both pay for ourselves but I won’t go out with anyone who doesn’t offer to pay most of the time because I don’t go out with broke men. I’m a broke college student so doesn’t make sense for someone who makes a lot more money than me to expect me to pay all the time. I’m not shallow but I won’t date anyone who’s broke or doesn’t have a car or can’t afford the occasional fun date out every once in awhile. If it’s a night in I will gladly cook a homemade meal to return the spoiling lol 😝

Tom D. · Answer

Hi Linda. These days all the rules have changed. And on the dating apps there are a lot of women looking for a free lunch.

My policy is, and I make it clear, bring your purse to our first meeting, we're each paying our own way. If we then decide to date, I mostly pay for the dates as the man, however I will definitely accept it if a woman pays for my night out.

I had a relationship a while back with a woman who made it very clear that she only wanted to be, "Friends." I told her, as friends that two things would happen when we went out as friends. When I go out with my male friends, and even female friends, we each pay our own way.

Sometimes we'll take turns buying a round of drinks, or dinner. The thing is, most of the toxic women, and I have run into a lot of them, either want a free lunch (dinner), or flake when it comes their turn to pay. I'm definitely not cheap, but these days women like to take advantage of men who always pay.

Dennis · Answer

I pay 100% for first date... and pretty much all of them. She would have to fight me to pay for them.

Mark · Answer

That is a reasonable approach, for myself I usually offer to pay even with friends if I've suggested the place. If it's a date I usually pay on the first as I was the one that asked and do make certain it's a date first. For me it's clarity of communication and usually if I think it's going somewhere I have no issues paying for the first as I'd hope for reciprocal behaviours on future dates

Barry · Answer

First date each pay for their own. Every date after 50/50.

Rob · Answer

Personally, I have no problem paying for me and the person I'm on a date with. Even if someone asked me out. I don't mind paying..

Overall I do think whoever asked the other person on a date should pay. 
But this isn't a deal-breaker for me. I don't mind paying.

Kyle · Answer

Go dutch as people said is better unless stated

Thabiso · Answer

A man should always take care of the bill, only if you guys have been exclusively talking. To be specific, especially when getting to know a person,  that person might be talking to different people other than you and when I mean talking i mean talking with the potential of dating them, only then can either party handle thier own bill.

Rob · Answer

Split the bill if it's on a first date or until your both in a relationship.

Miguel Santiago · Answer

Half each on my view

W · Answer

Agree, to your point. Also what if only one person asks out (mostly men), shouldn't other person volunteer to pay after 1 or 2 dates ?

TojoLopes · Answer

Well I think it's like you said, even if it's not a date date and it's more of a "let's hang out", usually whoever invites pays 😅 but any other option or slip ups, communication is the key

Mario · Answer

There's boundaries but traditionally it is Customary for the Man to choose the date place and therein pay.With that said. times have changed. in my culture, between friends, if you invite someone somewhere, leaving them no choice, you pay.

It is polite to offer to pay, but the customs should follow.

if someone seems very entitled to your generosity, I wouldn't go on a second date unless they're offering to pay.

Finally, what's most important is to be in agreement and set expectations beforehand, to prevent feelings from being hurt or other unsavory things. going 50/50 can be quite Normal. which leads me to my final proposal which is whoever likes whoever most, should show it, by paying. which if mutual should be 50/50.

Soumyajit · Answer

Hi that kinda makes sense actually

Dan · Answer

That's like saying the dude should pay. How many times have you asked a guy on a date, and do you think that happens alot?

James · Answer

The environment. Its the price we pay. The energy used from personal to actual energy in cooking/entertainment. The environment pays the most. 🤔

Corwin · Answer

I guess I am old. I always pay for the date.

Soo · Answer

It's not definitely like this. 
I see it's not who payed all about  the power of energy between them if the women on their feminine energy or men In their muscline 
  if they real men pay the date absolutely because they're givers with time, caring or money that's show the women delcate attitude.

Alex · Answer

Seems reasonable.

Andrew · Answer

I think the in the beginning there should be a date zero ..
Something real small like coffee and you both pay for your own and cost to see if you compatible and if there is good communication and the spark and all that .. 
The first date should be paid by the man if they had brought it up, make plans or reservations or pay for tickets, food etc .. 
If the woman plans it, there is nothing wrong with just cooking at home setting up a comfy spot to watch movies and cuddle.. it's about the effort ..
All us men know the woman sees the initiative to pay for dates the capability to provide as attractive .. 
So guys, pay for them dates! 
Ladies! - Men. Never. Get. Surprise. Dates. Or even asked out .. and rarely complimented .. 
Treat your man like a king ; he will build a kingdom and make you a queen 👑

YoYoYouYo · Answer

Blind date/first date, the one who planned the date
Lover's date /couple dates depends on their depth of their relationship or one's pride

Gabriel · Answer

Fir me, if it'd between a male and female, I buy the idea of the male caring for the bills

Tara · Answer

I totally agree

Mikael · Answer

The dude......

Quent · Answer

Different every time. I just like to know up front. If I want extra tacos they won't be on her dime.

Lukey · Answer

Do you work? Yes? Ok. Pay your half

Eddie 🍝 · Answer

Personally even with friends I will try and always pay. Especially if it is a place I've chosen.
With a date unless they are preoccupied with phone or texting/non communicative or non responsive/rude to me or others
 I'll pick up the bill usually no problem but If it's a bad or negative vibe they can pay their own way. I won't usually see them again and they're not likely to appriciate the gesture

Jon · Answer

Shouldn't matter the bill has to be paid. But like it's been said communication is key.

Jeff · Answer

Flip a coin 🪙, its completely fair 😐

Who pays on a date?

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