Rob

1y

INTJ

Virgo

8

9

Some great points here that I want to add to/repeat. First - give yourself time. Every time I have had my heart broken, it has taken time to recover with the exception of one case; but the more you loved, the longer it will take, so be gentle with yourself and feel your feelings about it. Second - don't beat yourself up over it. I am going to assume they broke up with you because most people who do the breaking up have had time to come to terms with the decision and are less impacted by it - but just because they broke up with you doesn't make you unworthy or unattractive. We tend to blame ourselves and beat ourselves up when a break up happens, and this does not get you anywhere. If someone else breaks up with you, it is them, not you. Third - take your time. As noted, avoid the rebound. I say this from experience - after one particularly painful breakup I became a manwhore for two weeks straight and it did nothing to take away the pain. It actually made it more focused. When I did try to have another relationship, it died early because I wasn't ready. It was me trying to cling to another person or reassure my sense of self-worth, or whatever - it wasn't because of love. So watch out for this. Fourth - Cry. Cry a lot because it is cathartic. Don't pull that macho BS of "real men don't cry" - that is why we made closets and other enclosed spaces (so you can hide in them and let the tears flow and deny it later). Fifth - talk about it - absolutely great advice, but I want to add something to this. Sometimes you don't even need someone - again, my experience has been that if I speak the words aloud, I am expunging them from my system, so any hate, bitterness, resentment, or other negative emotions, by being expressed vocally, even if it to my plants or a pet or the air will get it out of your system. If you think about it, it just festers and stews, but if you give birth to it through vocalization, it is out of you, and you will feel better (at least I do). Sixth - do not try to forget them. This person was a part of your life and nothing you do is going to change that. You cannot throw out your memories like an old pair of jeans that have worn at the crotch from long use. You can throw out any mementos you have that remind you of them, but memories don't disperse as readily as objects, and that's okay. If you want to dwell on them, go ahead - it is part of the process. You will find that you eventually do not think about them as much as time progresses, but for now, do what you have to. Seventh - I would recommend deleting their contact information so you are not tempted to make the 3am call or to send surreptitious and seemingly innocent messages to find out if they miss you or something like that. As much as it seems like it, you do NOT want to travel that road again, and you will lose self-respect if you crawl back (and why would you want to, anyway?). Definitely avoid drunk texting/calls. *chuckle* These are some tips/suggestions from my own experiences.