26 years I found one hot nerd with ADHD like me. We collided. Then it’s over. Said I was too much (and I was with all my toxic moodswings lol). They’re ENTP. Folks, advice please. Was it ever real? As an INFJ, my soul never felt so naked. And not the “you’re young you’ll meet them some day” lol

Question

Asher · Accepted Answer

You don't want the cliche BS answer? Ok. The best thing you can do is figure out your mood swings. It's not fair to you or the other person to just fly off the handle. Figure yourself out more and figure out what makes you "toxic" and take steps to change them. Ofcourse you aren't going to change right away but the best thing you can do is try and recognize the behaviour and do little things at a time to break yourself of those habits. I guess it would help to know what kind of mood swings you're talking about or how you think you're being toxic. I could offer better advice if I had a little more detail. Hope you're doing well today.

Bryan Mendez · Answer

I am not sure what to say since I am not an expert in all of these personality kind of thing. But unfortunately it sounded like it was going to end either way. While I do agree that anyone should be accepted and I sympathize with you because you have ADHD as well but I am going to repeat some points that Asher said. Try to find out what made you toxic or the stuff that was too much to change for the better. Not right away but knowing what happened can help you avoid it in the future. Like I said people should accept you for who you are but it's also not fair for the other person to put the effort if you are not willing to change as well. I am just saying this as a fellow ADHD person since I also deal with this as well.

Other than that, I am sorry to hear that and hopefully the next time. It will go well.

Khalid · Answer

Maybe he was kinda less and you were not too much

Ryan · Answer

Everything  you experience in life is your own "real".  Take what you can from the memories of your time together, cherish them, learn from them what was good, and what was bad. But dont let them hold you back.  Every encounter we have is a chance at a whole new real. It is up to us to make it so.

Nico · Answer

Right ones will last.
Aswell behave when its too much,respect is important

Jarrett · Answer

Yo that's a sweet backdrop in your pics

Scot · Answer

I dont know about the personality type thing being that important, but it sounds like a lot was going on at a bad time...sorry to hear that it didnt work out.  Hope it made you stronger

Mitchell · Answer

Getting tested for ADHD myself now, my mood swings are at least pretty mild though imo but that's more or less how my last relationship ended with an INFJ. Define "toxic" though.

Luis · Answer

You need to figure out what you did and what he did wrong and take responsibility for it. You both had issues to fix but didn't or couldn't. Don't sugar coat or give yourself plot Armour, but don't take all the blame he was in the relationship too. Find a balance

LA.. · Answer

Oohhh damm gurl unlucky or should that be a Bleesing , maybe you were better parting ways before it become painful....

Saurav · Answer

It's too vague to say if it was real or not. Did you communicate effectively? Give the other person somewhat of a heads-up that there might be such situations? If you've issues, I would suggest you deal with them first before inviting another person into your life and expecting them to share half your baggage. That's like giving a soldier a gun with no bullets and telling them to fight in a war.

Anna · Answer

Maybe because of being "perfectionist"? Are you? I am not though I am INFJ and often called as perfectionist. -I only notice it is a post from 2 years. 😅

Psychology Community

Maybe he was kinda less and you were not too much

Everything you experience in life is your own "real". Take what you can from the memories of your time together, cherish them, learn from them what was good, and what was bad. But dont let them hold you back. Every encounter we have is a chance at a whole new real. It is up to us to make it so.

Right ones will last. Aswell behave when its too much,respect is important

Yo that's a sweet backdrop in your pics

I dont know about the personality type thing being that important, but it sounds like a lot was going on at a bad time...sorry to hear that it didnt work out. Hope it made you stronger

Getting tested for ADHD myself now, my mood swings are at least pretty mild though imo but that's more or less how my last relationship ended with an INFJ. Define "toxic" though.

You need to figure out what you did and what he did wrong and take responsibility for it. You both had issues to fix but didn't or couldn't. Don't sugar coat or give yourself plot Armour, but don't take all the blame he was in the relationship too. Find a balance

Oohhh damm gurl unlucky or should that be a Bleesing , maybe you were better parting ways before it become painful....

Maybe because of being "perfectionist"? Are you? I am not though I am INFJ and often called as perfectionist. -I only notice it is a post from 2 years. 😅 (edited)

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