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Notestorecall

notestorecall

Well I have be come a man at last. I have had my first stress hives breakout. It feels both reassuring and bad. Why did it become like this? What can I do? I don't know and I feel all alone. This isn't what I wanted, I wanted simpler, smaller and more human, not to enter this dammed rat race. It can go to hell and all those who both drive and participate along with it. I am not losing my mind, I am losing my peace. I am back to where I started just with even less support but a little more experience. I dread this, and I hope once it passes I never have to think of this again. 
Mouse 🐁

Dec 8th

How come I still function. Who and where does this john milk toast man come from. Oh brain wizard Amy, it is when I cannot correlate that my guard breaks and the darkness seeps in. Where do I find this strength, to live and laugh and love for me? I can find relief, but where do I find my purpose, my will.  This I do not know... do for now just survival.
It is funny how quick gems form. And how they are to sustain you for the rest of your life.
Mouse 🐁

If I am so wrong,

Sorry to the corset girl
The frustration of cycles of relapse 
While I do not regret the relationship, i do have regrets 
Why I behave (Freud)
My hopes and ambitions.
Damn I want a pizza
Mouse 🐁
Can't forget the thank you to Mahler

For later

The grumpy tale of  brother mouse

I am curious, what is your perspective Amy.

A psychological definition of the difference between self pity and grief

Note to brain wizard, noticed stress response of oversleeping but not feeling well rested. Been going on for at least 2 weeks possibly longer. Will try digesting through journaling

January 25

Thank laufry, talk about dream, forgiveness

Later

Today is over, and there is very little left to be done. You were the problem, and you still very much are one. We must do better, for not only the world around us, but for ourselves. Perhaps that is what you have been doing already. We forget our reason for punishment, but we still commit the crime. We must not forget our wickedness. Much like the abhorrent we must hide ans seek salvation on our own. We lost the privilege for company long ago, and rightly so I may add. 
I belong here, so here I will stay.i should bring this up with my therapist.
Mouse 🐁

Just breathe and relax

As I said before, the long gone relationships of my past I regard as the rabbits I smothered (unintentionally of course). They are buried in the ground, and inherently do nothing. No it is I who wishes to mark their graves and when I feel a certain way I like to pretend like they dance around my head telling me how I murdered them. But they don't do that, they do nothing anymore, they are dead. So I puppet the their little ghosts  and make them say what I imagine what they would say to me. And what I imagine is them reminding me how I murdered them. They certainly didn't love me, so in my mind they tell me of the horrible things I did to them. That makes the most sense. I make them dance because that was something they liked to do before they met me.
I guess it is a way I hope to be less lonely.
Anyway, hope this helps brain wizard 
Mouse 🐁

Why I make the bunnies dance

A Boo community for meeting other Notestorecall enthusiasts.

Notestorecall Community

Dec 8th

If I am so wrong,

For later

The grumpy tale of brother mouse

A psychological definition of the difference between self pity and grief

January 25