Tattoo buyers remorse

Question

I'd really love to understand this phenomenon. I got a spiffy new tattoo on Friday. I've been wanting to get this particular tattoo for over a year, and by all accounts, it absolutely exceeded expectations.

I am absolutely obsessed with this tattoo. Size, placement, vibe, style, colour, everything. Let me go through it in detail.

I gave the artist a couple of reference images. What I wanted was the "Tranarchy" symbol. This is a fusion of the Trans symbol ⚧️ and the Anarchy symbol (no known emoji). This symbol is important to me, because it represents freedom of gender experience, choices, and expression. It's a freedom from the binary, and it represents an allowance for all Trans and GNC people to approach their transition a la carte. It means no one is expected to conform to anyone else's idea of what gender should be. This cause is close to my heart, as a Trans Woman myself.

The artist took the reference images, and my notes, and innovated, to make something that was more interesting, edgy, and expressive than anything I could've imagined. When I turned up for the tattoo, he suggested going a little bigger than I'd considered, which brought the edges of the symbol over my knuckles, and my wrist. It kinda breaks the boarders, and creates this "larger than life" effect, which enhances it for me. He did this cool thing with the blue ink, where he continually mixed it with white, so the shade of blue changes around the tattoo. It almost looks luminous. All these effects compounded to make the most amazing tattoo. I just sit and stare at it in awe.

When I woke up the day after, I had an anxiety attack. "Oh no, it's permanent. Everyone is going to see it." Coupled with this terrible sinking feeling. It probably lasted 20 minutes.

It makes no sense, because I got an amazing tattoo, of what I wanted, that exceeded expectations. I explicitly wanted it in a visible place, so people would see it. I'm visibly Queer. No one's guessing if I'm Trans or not when I walk down the street. The point of the tattoo was to own that. To never hide the fact that I'm Trans, because I'll never be able to, and people in the closet need to see people like me, existing freely in the world. I know how important it was for me before I came out. I want to pay that forward.

So permanent and visible were huge selling points. But that's what came to mind when I got anxiety. I got the anxiety this evening too. Similar thing. Even just to glance at the tattoo can give me a sinking feeling. "What's wrong with my body? That's not my hand." It's weird, and feels in part dissociative.

I took to the internet, and found a 9 year old Reddit thread, which discusses this phenomenon. There were a bunch of people, sharing similar experiences. They all said it was gone between and hour and three weeks. Once they'd adjusted, they where very happy with their tatts.

I'm just trying to work out what causes this, because I can't make sense of it. The only working theory I have is that the body is aware of the scarification of the skin, it perceives it as a major wound, and grieves the loss. That doesn't quite ring true for me though. Anyone else got any other theories? Let's speculate

Ellie❀ · Accepted Answer

It’s actually common to feel that way than you might think, I’ve had a fair share of that initial anxiety after getting a tattoo but that feeling will diminish over time as you get used to it. Just embrace it ☺️ Personally I think it looks cool!

Lindsay · Answer

I guess maybe a part of you is worried about what people will think. There’s enough stigma surrounding tattoos and so much more about the queer community. I’m queer myself, but no tattoos because I’m scared of needles. That would be my only guess. The tat looks amazing. I’m sorry you’re having regretful feelings about it.

vyn · Answer

i could never. tattoos hurt

Sanjay B · Answer

Hood

Tattoo buyers remorse

Psychology Community

It’s actually common to feel that way than you might think, I’ve had a fair share of that initial anxiety after getting a tattoo but that feeling will diminish over time as you get used to it. Just embrace it ☺️ Personally I think it looks cool!

i could never. tattoos hurt

Hood

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