Communication is Key

Question

Saw a post earlier about how if someone is truly in love, you won't have to ask for something, they'll just do it.

I think this may be the single biggest misconception about relationships I have seen in a minute.

Let me say this for the people in the back. IF YOU DONT COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS, THEN YOUR PARTNER WONT KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE!

Who cares if you're bothering them or it's just too much to bring up. Talk to each other, learn about boundaries, establish some ground rules, figure out HOW each other communicates. Don't just sit around expecting the other person to read your mind.

For example, say you're getting intimate and they say or do something that makes you uncomfortable. If you don't talk to them, they will keep doing that thing thinking it's okay.

The fantasies some people have about what a relationship is supposed to be versus what it actually is infuriates me. This isn't some Hollywood love story, people aren't perfect, there is more to life than happily ever after, and there will inevitably be bad days.

𝕾𝖙𝖊𝖕𝖍𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖊 · Accepted Answer

Imo, I think some of these people are delusional that their partners are psychic or something else.

Yeah, sure, if you've been together bazillion of years already, maybe. But if you're new and still learning each other, I think it's very likely that your partner is VERY observant and tries to anticipate your needs when possible.

Cat-a-strophe · Answer

Amen.

Lily · Answer

If only my ex husband understood that

Jessie · Answer

I think this is misinterpreted.

I agree, if you are communicating you can also be Truly in Love.

What the OP was stating is that the dream level is to get up to the point where you can go off feeling and not need to speak at all. You both understand. If you are up to this level, it is 100% confirmed you already Truly in Love and you at the highest form.

But, to get to this point in a relationship. You both have to communicate as you suggested. It’s only after time and understanding, this can slowly go from talking with each other. To no longer it being required.

So if they are still miscommunicating or misinterpreting what you want. Then, this is not yet at the highest form yet. You still need to communicate and understand each other more.

So the highest version of being truly in love, is where you are able to communicate, without the need of actually communicating. What OP was stating, love at its highest form. But if you are in the beginning steps, you start at level 0 and need to communicate to build up to it. To note, even if you are starting. You can be defined as being in love.

Communication is Key

Relationshipadvice Community

Amen.

If only my ex husband understood that

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