Moving On

Question

This isn't easy. Starting over, moving on. Leaving everything behind. I've never done something like this and it just hurts.

I haven't been able to sleep good. I haven't eaten. The things I enjoy I have no interest in.

6 years of forward progress in my life reset in just a few days. Went from having cars, a 6 bedroom house, a step-son, a fiance, my dogs, a family to absolutely nothing.

This is the most pain I've ever felt. I feel like I'm always on the verge of breaking down. How do you guys do it? How do you distract yourself when everything reminds you of the life you had? How do you even begin to love yourself? I'll admit, I'm not strong enough for this.

Ryan · Accepted Answer

I experienced a very similar situation almost 2 years ago now. I wanted to, and almost went through with, ending my life.  It does get better, though not as quickly as we sometimes would like.  I found solace in philosophy. I had always enjoyed it in school, but had let that part of me, along with other things, slip away, sacrificed unknowingly to the altar of this failed relationship.  So I picked up a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, found solace in the words of Schopenhauer,  Nietzhe,  Sartre.... I became a sponge,  picking and choosing bits and pieces of philosophies that gave me comfort. I decided to relearn guitar, paint, write in a journal, learn to cook! Fighting to regain what I hadn't realized I had sacrificed.

My advice if youl have it, is to focus on you,  find your muses, spend your time doing things you love.  And find a good therapist. It can be tough to admit you need that help. But it is worth it I promise you.

I will leave you with this qoute...

"Don’t be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you are injured and can’t climb up without another soldier’s help?" —Marcus Aurelius

Meaning,  you are still loved. There are other soldiers, people who have dealt with the same pain, ready to help you climb out of this. You can ask for help. You don’t have to face this on your own.

Arizona · Answer

One thing I learned is to not waste on Energy on things and situations that are out of our control, I know it sounds easier said than done but everything takes time

Getrude Hannigan · Answer

I know this woun't help but am sending you virtuall hugs buddy.All will be well it may not be now but eventually you'll look back and take your lessons and build a great future once more.We all fall down, question is you wanna get back up or will you still stay down?You have the keys to that.Focus on you first the rest will effortlessly align.Don't be too hard on yourself, take it one day at a time.Hope this helps😊

Michael · Answer

Be grateful you had those things in your life

Tim · Answer

"Moving On and Getting Over are not the same it seems to me. 'Cause you've been gone,  I'm growing older... but I can't seem to get you off my mind." - John Mayer

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

Moving On

Relationshipadvice Community

One thing I learned is to not waste on Energy on things and situations that are out of our control, I know it sounds easier said than done but everything takes time

Be grateful you had those things in your life

"Moving On and Getting Over are not the same it seems to me. 'Cause you've been gone, I'm growing older... but I can't seem to get you off my mind." - John Mayer I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

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