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Universes
Posted Monday, November 4, 2024
1mo
ENTP
Gemini
How to learn to be okay not being in a relationship.
Step 1 is to realize your self worth is in your control. Realizing that having or not having someone doesn't change your value as a person. You're not competing with anyone on being worthy of love so who would you degrade yourself against for not having a partner? What standard are you holding yourself to that says you can only be happy with a partner? Step 2 emotional control and thought steering. If you think about something that makes you feel bad your brain starts to put energy into doing that so more thoughts will come as a way of trying to help you avoid those things but instead just making you feel worse. Learning that when having a bad thought breath in, out and then say I will think about something else and choose something you like thinking about. Step 3 is knowing your feelings are just hormones and don't define you. All of your negative feelings come from hormones produced to make you feel certain ways so you shouldn't feel bad about well feeling bad. I recently began meditating alot longer then normal until I started to feel hollow as my stress levels got so low I just didn't feel connected or care about anything. I got turned down by someone and felt completely indifferent, I had no anxiety and it was hard to get mad and I didnt have any desire to do anything so I was extremely bored. as I said all feelings are hormones so feeling bad doesn't make you weak or less of a person its just a response. I'd rather continue feeling all my emotions instead of that hollowness. Step 4 what is your reason for wanting a relationship? If you're an adult now and your friends don't have as much time to hangout that can make you want a gf to keep you from being lonely. It could be you don't have anyone to talk to about your true feelings so you find a partner instead of friends who will accept you. It could be you are just bored and looking for a new form of stimulation and a partner is in that place. Maybe you do not have alot of money so thoughts of having a partner to help you become financially stable plague your mind. Step 5 random advice i can't categorize. Most of the time you think about having a partner its because you don't have anything better to do so your brain wanders so doing things you like or doing low energy activities to stimulate your brain can keep that from happening. I wouldn't let people degrade me for my political opinions so why should I feel degraded about my personality or how I present myself opinions? Closing thoughts: even I had a thought while writing this about what if I wrote it wrong or what if people don't like it and I thought what value do people I dont know have? You could be the next hitler for all I know so giving someone my peice of mind is a waste of time. That's how easy it is to learn to devalue things so you become indifferent. If I get 1 like then that means I helped one person which is good and if I don't get any well I had fun writing it so who cares.
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