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Universes
Posted Tuesday, October 29, 2024
2mo
ENFP
Aries
Here goes nothing
Not really a type to publicly share about my private life or ask for possible advices but, i feel like I've gotten to a breaking point mentally and emotionally due to a few factors and not sure how to cope with it. Was in a 5y relationship until last year. We broke up what i thought was mutual but later, and still to this day am finding out info about her lies and cheating which lead me to believe it wasn't so mutual afterall (didn't know about anything while we were together). I'm trying so hard to forget, emphasize on the good not the bad, move on in someway but it's like it's haunting me. I've lost a knack for being social, I've tried meeting people which ended in failures. Fearful even when i do have a partner will i have to experience the same thing i did now and i don't know what to do about it neither do i have anybody i can talk with on the matter. Possibly nobody will even read this small Bible of a post but there's a small relief putting this onto text at least, appreciate anybody who reads through it all and have a lovely day
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25
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Kristen
2mo
INFJ
Pisces
The thing to keep in your head is that you should never let the wrong person keep you from the right person, which is what you'll do if you continue to let your ex take up space in your head. It's in the past. You were part of the decision to break up, apparently, so if you happen to hear about bad stuff she did, just remember that something inside told you the relationship was wrong, even if you didn't know all the details. Amd if you can, shut off any lines of communication. Block, delete, ask mutual friends to not share info, etc. But don't assume everyone is going to be like that and don't allow yourself to become bitter. It's much healthier to love freely, with the understanding that some people may just not be permanent in your life.
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3
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Kitty
2mo
INTJ
Taurus
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It must feel awful. Be reassured there are good, honest people out there and you will find one. A licensed therapist may help you work through your concerns and give you coping skills for when things get particularly overwhelming. You can also look to others in your social sphere who have successfully managed long-term relationships for advice and reassurance. Best wishes.
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1
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Linda
2mo
INFJ
Virgo
Keep in mind that you are allowed to have all your emotions. Deeply hurt, angry, whatever you may feel allow yourself to feel that. Don’t force yourself to move on or get over it, you will with time. Also, what people do to you rarely has anything to do with you but everything to do with them.
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0
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Isk
2mo
INTP
Aquarius
Not advice but what works for me, is practicing self compassion, doing hobbies that I love to do and journalling. (Depends on your coping style, you have to find what works for you) May you heal on your life journey. Don't give up and I hope that you'll meet someone better
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0
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Kea
2mo
ENFJ
Sorry you had to go through that. I feel ya. Going through a break up is never easy regardless of how long the relationship was. You are doing what needs to be done and try to move forward. Sometimes it's just needs that, time. Hopefully you start to feel a bit better as day going by. Try to focus on things that make you feel good. And there are plenty of people on here to hopefully give good advice or just to lend an "ear". Good luck 🍀🫶
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0
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Rhys
2mo
INFJ
Taurus
Bro, from what you've said you're willing yourself to forget the person and relationship. You gotta just for a lack of a better term, grieve it. Otherwise it'll haunt you as you said. Trust a brother on this man. It may take a week a month or years but you'll know when it's time my man. You're meeting new people it seems in the hope they'll lift your spirits, it won't work. That's like covering a crack with carpet but not mending it properly. Exercise in futility. Take this time a journey if you wanna call it that to find you. Love can only come from within. How can you expect another to love you if you don't love yourself. Hang in there brother. (edited)
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0
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Sandra
2mo
INFP
Pisces
Don't try to forget it. Forgetting things that hurt us makes us more likely to repeat the same mistake. Let yourself feel the anger, pain, whatever you feel, but try not to dwell on it. When you meet someone new, look for red flags and don't ignore them just because you feel good with the person. Feeling good doesn't always mean the relationship is healthy. When we get used to toxicity, we become addicted and think we need it even if it hurts us. Sometimes the people who hurt you will try to convince you it was your fault, that you deserved it. They may succeed. Try not to allow yourself to fall for that. There's a quote in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, "We accept the love we think we deserve." What we really need to do is think about the effort we put into a relationship, and stop settling for people who don't appreciate or try to make the same effort. Another quote I've seen floating around is, "You deserve the kind of love you keep trying to give everyone else." Show yourself the love you show others. You're less likely to settle when you know your worth.
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0
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Tomei
2mo
INFP
Aries
I'm in a similar situation and for me it took a long while to just let the memories crumble within my mind. While that was happening I've been focused on my life, self-improvement (mindset, health, finances). I later decided I don't need anyone who doesn't treasure me, be it friend or lover. It still gets lonely sometimes, but sure as hell beats being unappreciated and unvalued. I now enjoy the peace and quiet, staying away from trouble. Hope this helps.
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0
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