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Universes
Posted Thursday, January 27, 2022
2y
INTJ
Gemini
Might as well get another opinion
I'm in love with my best friend. We actually dated when we first met before things got really toxic and we broke up. Then, amazingly, we both grew into better people by being friends. It's been a little over 2 years now since we broke up. My friend knows my feelings, and has expressed that she doesn't feel the same way. What I find confusing is that she continues to move from unsatisfying relationship to unsatisfying relationship all while we just get closer. Plus, when she talks about the type of partner she wants... she just describes me. And that's not me reading into things; she literally said "someone like you". I'm not sure if I'm seeing something that's not there or not. Especially since all I can hear in the back of my mind is Jacob (from Twilight) saying, "I know you love me, you just won't admit it." And I definitely don't want to be like Jacob from Twilight 😬. (To be clear, I have not said anything along those lines to her and intentionally keep my expressions platonic as that is a boundary she set)
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Crystal
2y
ISFJ
Leo
Well from my perspective, it sounds like she's over you in the romantic sense. She buried those feelings and she's leaving that relationship (romantic) in the past. She may be saying someone LIKE you because she already tried with you and it failed. If she doesn't feel that way about you, then that explains why she said "someone like you"--she doesn't want you, so someone similar will have to suffice (in her mind). Also have to remember even tho you're different now, that doesn't erase the toxic memories. If the relationship was that bad, she likely may not want you because of the pain. Likewise, if she's in a lot of unsatisfactory relationships, then she is either looking for men like the old you (that she didn't have a good time with), or she's looking at guys who are very different and not fulfilling. I know that I would never date my ex, and once I lose feelings for someone, theyre gone for good. Maybe she relates to that? There's literally nothing that regains my interest once I become disinterested. Don't know why, just always been like that for me. It could be like that for her as well. Only she will know, honestly. 🤷🏾♀️
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2
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Andrea
2y
ISFJ
Virgo
While I partially agree with Ron, if she said she doesn't feel the same way, why beat a dead horse? Give it more time.Also take into consideration, what do you think you will get out of it if you move from friends to a relationship? Is it the title you after or what will the main difference be? The physical aspect? Try to get a feel first to see if she'll react negatively or feel pressured if you bring this up yet again. If you guys are getting closer and things are good, let them be that way for a while and give it another bit before presenting the idea again. Only to not possibly jeopardize what you guys have developed. I feel like if she already knows where you stand, she will let you know if/when she's ready to make that next step with you. (edited)
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1
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Kelly
2y
ENFP
You clearly expressed you want to date her and she clearly stated she doesn't want to date you. At this point, she's using you for emotional support and potential backup in case she feels lonely. Unless she expresses interest back, don't act like you want to date her (don't say romantic things, don't text her at night, don't pay for her, don't buy her things). Otherwise she knows she can string you along forever and you won't go anywhere.
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4
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Andy
2y
INTP
Pisces
Unfortunately, it sounds like she just wants you in her corner as her friend. If she doesn't feel the same way and isn't going to change feeling that way, you need to decide for yourself what you want to do. I don't think it's wise to try and just be friends with her. I'd recommend you let her know all your feelings for her. If you don't hear what you want from her, you're just going to be putting yourself through hell keeping her in your life.
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0
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Mi
2y
INFJ
I understand the confusing feeling of.. "you basically just described me". Are they afraid of ruining it? Of rejection? Ask them. You have to be able to have these conversations with them if you are to have any long term relationship.
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0
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