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Universes
Posted Monday, November 7, 2022
2y
ISFJ
Virgo
Why do people to Date to just Date?
I cant wrap my head around people just going into the dating world and not thinking about a potential future with that person. Seriously, hookups I understand why people would want to do that. But if your dating, but not thinking of anything long term. Why go through the effort of having a somewhat relationship becuase your bored and just break it off whenever? Is that not painful? No remorse? Waste of time? I might be to innocent to understand
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44
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Amaris
2y
INFP
Virgo
I genuinely think some people are at a point in thier lives where they require extra attention. Whether it be sexual or not, having multiple partners or even just "looking around" gives them something they can't find within the confines of a monogamous relationship. I for one treat every first date as if it's my last first date. 🖤 Gotta find someone ready for you.
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1
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Christopher
2y
ENFP
Sagittarius
I used to date like this, and I never understood the opposite. Why, when we're young (this was like 15-24), do you want to date only one person and settle down so quickly? We should be having fun and getting experience. Our lives are constantly changing, we move away all the time (college, jobs), and so on. If it turns out that we want to be together forever then okay, we'll talk about that then, but that's not my main goal. You don't even have the experience to know what you want in a lifelong partner yet. Or how to be one yourself for that matter. I did truly for a connection with and love the people I was in relationships with, and they weren't short relationships. I was just willing to put up with knowing that there would most likely be an end one day. I'd deal with that when the time came. Around 24-25 (I'm going on 27 now), I completely changed my mind. I think for 2 reasons: 1. Dating is a lot harder as an adult. Take too much effort to go looking for dates & relationships all the time 2. I had enough with breakups. Even when I was dating for fun breakups still hurt. I still truly loved the people I dated. By this time I had been in like 5 or 6 serious medium to long-term relationships and I just had enough of the heartache, the stress of learning how to be in a relationship with someone different over and over, all the failed connections for every successful relationship. Most importantly it was around this time I had a clear idea of who I was, what I value, my strengths and weaknesses, and what I'm looking for in a partner. And enough experience to know the common pitfalls of relationships and how to handle them. I do feel better equipped for that "one and done" relationship now. My experience is that it's really important both people understand the goals each person has for the relationship. People don't really talk about it at the beginning, thinking it's too soon or desperate, but it's not. I ask about it now. Because it's a recipe for heartbreak if one person is dating for fun and the other is serious, and the two of you never knew that.
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0
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Levon
2y
ESTJ
Aquarius
Some people are what scientists call sociopaths.
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0
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Wasuthep
2y
ISTP
Scorpio
According to my old man. Dating used to have a meaning of going out to have fun with your friends. Say take your group of friends for a date at a bowling alley. Now it's more of a trial to see if you'd clicked before accepting. Others would take it as a more adventurous route, experiencing all the flavors before exiting the scene. We're all selfish at times.
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