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Universes

Posted Tuesday, January 9, 2024
1y
INTP
Aquarius
A tough lesson (⚠️: this is deep) Pass over if you arent ready to read about shadow work or emotional awakening
Pain will make you grow. So when you realize that your natural hermit tendencies have let slip many friendships into the faded sands of time and you watch your imagination play through all the lost moments of potential bonds you couldve deepened, theres not much you can do accept cry after 25 years of your heart being locked away safely behind a stone cold unwillingness to share that heart. You then realize that your heart is beating with more force and emotions open up like a fountain of blood, overwhelming your mind. It physically feels like a two ton drum hammering away and you feel very alive while actual real tears leak out of your face for the first time since you were a kid. You sit with this thing beating in your rib cage like a giant clobbering a mountain, like the grinch after his heart grew 3 times bigger, devistated, wracked, with no hope of functioning beyond feeling your emotions begin to grow. Fear? Yes actual fear. Hope? Love? Joy? Sadness? Everything, amplified. The brain does not do a good job at being the heart. That has been the biggest lesson recently. So after a few weeks of your heart bleeding emotionally, working with it, trying to understand, new powers become available. Not just empathy of the mind, but empathy of the heart. You can understand love mentally and realize what the definition of it is like but if love is just a thought and not an emotion then you're stuck in a cold way of loving people. Still tender, still loving, but again... the brain cannot be a good heart. You learn to use this to connect to friends, family, and yourself. Put up decorations that really match who you are. Toss out junk that even if it was a gift, if you didnt really like it enough to use or want, its better gone anyway because it doesnt match who you are. You decide, you hate booklets and really like flip paper notbooks instead. You get really picky and OCD, understanding exactly what you like and dislike. Major changes begin to happen. Your room doesnt look like just anyone lives there. It looks like YOU live there. You begin to write, doodle, paint, play music, visit friends, get out there, meet people, and do stuff. All this comes to a heading where I write: I think I am actually ready to start dating. This giant drum in my chest needs something to do lol Never ever thought I could grow like this.

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1.1M SOULS

Dylan
1y
INFJ
Taurus
I came to this conclusion at the beginning of August when I found out that I had end stage systolic heart failure, decided that I was going to focus on positive self-talk, open myself up to friends that I was hiding from due to depression, and give myself permission to do the things that I enjoy and want to explore. End of November I got a heart transplant and now I have a literal new heart that is beating with the same strength as my new state of mind. Recovery has been near record breaking speed. I have had 3 biopsies with zero signs of rejection. All of my vitals have been in healthy ranges. It is an amazing turn of events that have given me a new lease and new outlook on life.
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