This recipe makes 1-2 dishes, dependant on appetite. If you eat like a bird you could probably spread it out to 3. If you're feeding teenagers or uncle after he's finished his spirit walk... It makes 1 or less. If uncle brought back meat, this will tide him over until that meat is cooked. 🪶 What you'll need: Diced ham, jasmine instant rice (technically any white rice), butter, Alfredo sauce, milk (if you have it), SEASONING, mozzarella and/ or parmesan as desired. The patience of the elders, not provided. Cook the rice with salt and butter. If you're not using instant... WASH YOUR DAMN RICE! Until the water runs clear, then let soak for a minimum of 30mins for fluffiness. If you need stove top instructions for regular (not instant) rice, ask and I'll leave them in the comments. Otherwise use your rice cooker. Add: Pepper (start with less of this, add more later) Onion powder/ flakes, or diced fresh Garlic powder, or diced fresh And finally rubbed Sage (If you know, you know, if you're don't... You're the reason for the sage. 😏) Over season it, the Alfredo sauce is Very bland unless made from scratch. The ancestors will tell you when to stop. Probably pretty loudly. They're quite bossy, you know. Cook normally then set aside. Dice the pork, cook until it gets those little slightly burnt brown edges. This brings out and concentrates the flavor. Mix into the rice. Add the Alfredo sauce and stir it all together. If you're using store bought, I recommend hunting for the one with garlic or "home style". It has more flavor. Add milk as needed to help reduce thickness and spread out flavor. If you don't have milk, water honestly works. It doesn't take much, and no one will know if you do it right. A good uncle will eat it anyway. TASTE THAT SHYT! We don't do that yt people cooking you see on the tikytok. We use seasoning in this family. Put the mayo away Susan. You won't need that here. Add seasoning as desired. Susan, add more than desired. You're gonna think it's drowning, that's ok. Your kids will like it. Grate, shred, or otherwise add your cheese if desired. It doesn't take much, but will help with flavor and rounds it out nicely. Susan.... Put the demons back in the cheese, that's for 3am snacking. Just... Just a little ok? Over all shouldn't take more than 30mins (from start to finish) and can be cooked in the microwave. This dish used a cup of rice, 1 pork steak, and about a 1/3 of a jar of prego Alfredo sauce. I didn't have milk so I substituted water. It just makes it easier to spread. This will probably be two meals for me. If that helps you adjust for your household. Mind you, I eat pretty small portions, but it is quite filing as well. If I had it, I would have used.... Mushrooms (sautéed with the onions in butter) Possibly bell peppers Milk, definitely milk Fresh garlic and onion Home made Alfredo The patience of the elders But I'm a broke bish and I've been sick so not efforting that much right now. Enjoy my lazy cooking. If it comes out bland for you, you didn't add enough seasoning or didn't taste it as you went. If your ancestors were silent... I'm sorry, you probably didn't listen and they gave up. At least you'll know what to do next time. If you're new to seasoning.... Start small, taste as you go. Let it cook a little before adding more. Best of luck! Disclaimer: No Susan's were harmed in the making of this recipe. In this case, Susan is a made up generalization for a person who doesn't use seasoning in their cooking. It sounded like a British name, so I used it. (edited)