Dating with chronic illness

Question

Hello everyone, I’m wondering if there are any others out there trying to date with medical issues? I’m curious what others have experienced as far as communicating to able bodied dates your condition and limitations. I have an invisible illness and it seems like no matter what I say a lot of people will make their own conclusions that may be wildly off. I am not even sure yet how much I can physically commit to. In person meetups would take a lot of energy out of me but I could manage once a week for now. That said it may not be worth the pain for me so it’s this whole process of trying to figure out how not to waste my time and the time of others. I would love to hear what other disabled or chronically ill people have to say on their experiences, thanks!

Javier · Accepted Answer

I'm still trying to figure this out too it's tough. The best I've got now is just be honest and if they're any good they'll engage with us on that.

Gabe · Answer

There's a lot of different "invisible" disabilities, like diabetes or anemia, that will complicate relationships. Still, it's better than having a visible disability like cerebral palsy or burns. If people see you're sick in an unattractive way, then they won't give you a second look. If the purpose of dating is to find the best spouse possible, then choosing a disabled mate may be viewed by some as settling for a lesser option. If the purpose of dating is entertainment, then disabilities interfere with the fun.

Still, there's more opportunities if you're only sick rather than ugly. People want to bring beauty into their lives.

These are the shallow truths about relationships. The deeper truth is that hardship and sickness comes for everbody, eventually. Living with a disability makes you more aware of the how valuable health is. Every body degrades into ugliness and it's far better to pursue mates with beautiful hearts and minds.

It's fair to be disappointed by others lack of patience and understanding, but don't be discouraged. As medical understanding becomes more common, more people will be open to relationships with the disabled. Disabilities will become manageable and acceptable.

Shruti Shovan Das · Answer

Glad I saw this post :)

I'll share something from my heart, and experiences. Maybe not as a person who suffers from this condition but the other person who's willing to accept and have romantic feelings for someone who has a chronic illness

Sooo, there's this girl that I met here on Boo, unfortunately the day we connected was the day I returned from her country to mine, we couldn't meet. I developed feelings for her with time and we focused on knowing each other

Turns out she has a chronic illness called the celiac's disease. It was very new to me because back in India, I never heard or met anyone with that condition

Out of care and love I started to read about her condition and found that it's found mostly in white females. And it's related to avoiding gluten in foods

(Pardon me if I am overexplaining because it was very new to me wrt the genetic variation of people around me)

How did I deal with it?

It's easy :)
If you have true feelings for someone you ACCEPT that person ❤️

Can I change anything of her genes?

Nooo, not in my hands. But I can surely help her feel better and make her life easier 😇. I am totally okay avoiding gluten. I am Bengali, and Indian hehe, so we eat a lot of rice and rice doesn't have gluten at all🤭

I am learning recipes for her, precautions so as to not trigger her condition for future times

Well, we aren't anything really now. We're just friends now. But we could be something if things go well :)

I am expected to meet her next year where I'll study my Master's. Sooo, yes even we aren't anything I chose to accept for what she was.

If she feels that I am a good person with values and actions, she'll accept me.

See?

The chronic illness won't stop you finding love. The person who will choose you just 'Accepts' you for who you are❤️

Despite differences where someone could have left, accepting and caring for someone despite their imperfections is what's the most beautiful about love I guess

I don't even know my future or what I'll be, but doesn't stop me being a good person for myself and my feelings ❤️

Forgive me for this looong post :(

Gurteg · Answer

This is because you are unfortunate enough to be born in this new generation….

You’re currently in the generation who views medical and psychological conditions as something that makes you “unique” and “quirky” instead of as a disability that impacts your quality of life that you have to live with daily…..

Hopefully you find someone who can make the effort, but I wouldn’t put too much stock in what people online say

Good luck!

Thaissa · Answer

I've been talking to a man for about 4 months every day when he leaves work and yesterday I just because tell him about my ADHD problem and to my surprise he said "I've never noticed this. Your moods swings a lot but it's normal for a girl. You have a lot of energy! For me this is nothing abnormal". So girl, to the right eyes you'll never be a problem. Just relax 😎✨

Dating with chronic illness

Illness Community

I'm still trying to figure this out too it's tough. The best I've got now is just be honest and if they're any good they'll engage with us on that.

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