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Posted Friday, April 26, 2024
9mo
INFP
Gemini
Am I the only one who hates meeting someone in a bar or inexpensive restaurant for a first meet?
I’ve noticed that one of the reasons I don’t end up going out on dates is because meeting someone for the first time is so nerve racking, and driving across town just to meet up for coffee or in a bar (when most rarely have anything I’d want to drink) and is so atypical of my normal behavior anyway, that I just don’t end up responding positively when someone wants that sort of meetup. When I wouldn’t normally meet a friend at a bar or coffee shop, why would doing so to meet a stranger be any type of realistic measure of our compatibility as friends or anything else? I know meetups should be in public places for safety, but why do people seem stuck on wanting to go to “cheap” places, rather than going out to do something with someone that they’d actually want to do, normally? From some of the feedback I’ve gotten from guys, it seems some are burnt out and feeling like girls are taking advantage of them to pay for expensive meals that don’t go anywhere. I’d rather go Dutch with an expectation that we are just hanging out as friends unless something more happens to develop, but do something I’ll actually enjoy. That way, I know I’ll have a good time and doing something I actually like with the person should also hopefully help us gauge if we enjoy each others company more realistically. Now, I am a foodie who enjoys nice restaurants. So not ruling out food, and some people like hanging out in bars. For example, I love music and dancing. I’m thinking about suggesting that if a person isn’t interested in meeting up to do something I enjoy like going line dancing, or a dance lesson, or on a food adventure, or to check out an relatively inexpensive show, we may just not have a foundation for much of a friendship to begin with and I should let them go thier own way. Thoughts? What do you think?
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![Jean](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/XXsWAytX2keaITzVFnaK76UxXS72/172557378185361e443ce01b05e7d3c8ea85b8eccc9e5.jpg?class=xs)
Jean
9mo
INFP
Libra
I also get scared and anxiety from going on a date in a bar or restaurant. Bars can be loud and you would have to get very close to each other for hours trying to find a conversation In a noisy inverment and restaurants can be so intimate and on the spot. I would rather go somewhere with my date at a place where there's excitement which will lead to conversation starters like a Fair, Skating ring or arcade. This will allow you and the person to feel comfortable and have fun which will lead you to feel more relaxed with them so when you go on your next date then you can go somewhere like maybe a food place that both like where you can possibly get to know each other a little more than when you're busy having fun. It's all about feeling comfortable within each other's presence. ( p.s I have no problem paying for myself or both me and my date as long as we both have fun, I have never been a traditional kind of girl when it came to stuff like that, I never cared who pays the bill and usually I pay for myself and if I'm the one you schedules the dates and where we go I would offer to pay for my date since I was the one taking them out. Also I always end up feeling bad if I let someone pay for me anyways ) (edited)
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INFP
Scorpio
If you hate dating and it's causing you so much stress and unhappiness then just don't do it. There's no reason to put yourself through something that makes you feel so awful.
Its okay to just focus on your passions and interests, you don't NEED a partner. Plus it's usually easier to connect when you're invested in your passions so who knows what'll happen!
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#datingadvice
![Danielle](https://boo-prod.b-cdn.net/q8XBFZT0VyfcX0mqPvotrg1laAB2/1739278750734f0fa7e136aa822af29cbd29fdcd203fc.jpg?class=xs)
4mo
INFP
Scorpio
I'm not anti-men. just genuinely do not base the quality of my life on having a man or not. I believe the right man can increase the quality of your life but having no man does not decrease it. and i realize the thought troubles those who's purpose in life is to be w a man.
@/ DontWorryBoutB
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