Introversion thoughts

Most people in my real life social area see me as not very commutative - I don't always reply to messages, or it takes days, I keep myself away from most family events.. It may raise the impression that I want to be alone. But the thing is, that I enjoy company, I enjoy talks and gatherings, but not with this kind of people. It just costs me so much energy to even go there, because I know It will be tense, there will be quarrels, there will be shallowness and avoidance of topics - there will be expectations and masks. It's a minefield trying to pass without blowing the mood up. And I don't have enough energy to do that. After these events, whenever I attend them or talk with one of these people, I feel burt down like a tree after a fire. And it takes days until I recover from that. There are people where I can be, who I am, where I can say what I think, without boundaries, expectations or deeply burrowed conflicts lingering. Where I don't drain myself out just to keep a straight face and pretend that everything is fine. This people are the real treasures of life. And there, it feels good to give energy. (edited)