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Universes
Posted Tuesday, November 23, 2021
3y
ISTP
Aries
1 Award
Stop it, y'all : A rant
I'll start with this, most of you are dope ass humans and it's fun getting to hear your perspectives on a lot of different topics. Keep being awesome. Now, onto the rant.... I've seen entirely too many people in here complaining about being "ghosted". First, were you actually ghosted by a human in your real life? If so, that's wack and you should probably be thankful. Or, were you "ghosted" by a literal stranger on the internet? Because that's where I'm seeing the most complaints. Y'all have to understand that people on the internet do not owe you anything. They do not owe you their time, energy, or an explanation. They're not a part of your daily lives, stop giving them that much power in your brain. I recently saw yet another "we talked everyday for 2 weeks, then they ghosted. What's wrong with me?" post and I'm honestly on the verge of taping my phone to a rocket and launching it directly into the nearest black hole. First, did they intentionally stop talking to you, or did they get busy with their actual lives and just move on? Maybe they deleted the app altogether. Maybe they don't spend 24/7 glued to their phone. No matter what the reason, they're 1000% allowed to cut off communication with people for no other reason than they simply felt like it. Second, maybe they're just not in the headspace to have one on one conversations?? Personally, I can have one on one talks for a few days, but after that, I'm drained. It's exhausting. I have a whole ass life outside of people on the internet. The sooner y'all realize that these people are not, in fact, a part of your lives, the better off you'll be. We're adults. We have things to do. Some can't hold conversations on an app for days on end. Some just get bored and walk away, and that's ok too. Nobody owes you a "thanks for the chat but you'll never hear from me again". Manage your expectations and stop taking everything so personally, you'll be a lot happier I swear. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. 🖤 (edited)
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Colin
3y
INTJ
Taurus
I agree that, ideally, people shouldn't feel bothered by someone on the internet disappearing. That said, people have needs and feelings, and in the current pandemic a lot of people feel very alone. That connection with someone on the internet may feel like a lifeline to them. We can explain all we want about how or why that's a bad idea, but people will still do it because feelings aren't logical. I personally think everyone should try to be more courteous online. Not because you have to be, but because behind every name there is a real person with thoughts and feelings. To me that looks like being a gentleman and telling someone I'm "no longer interested in chatting with you but wish you all the best" instead of ghosting them. It also means acknowledging when I've been ghosted but not holding it against people - thanking them for their time and moving on like a mature adult. This is the kind of behavior I personally advocate for. (edited)
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Jenni
3y
INFJ
Aries
People have feelings. Feelings are valid. I didn't read most of it, because it's a put down.
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Eugenia
3y
INTJ
Capricorn
Someone once commented on a ghosting post that we should see people online as strangers walking right by us. I feel like that’s the best way to see it. We wouldn’t chase down a stranger for their response. However I think the people doing the ghosting should be more responsible and not create expectations they don’t intend to follow up on. (edited)
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Justin
3y
ENFP
Taurus
You're 100% right however it's just rude to leave someone hanging like that just kinda makes you feel bad.
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Adil
3y
ENTP
Sagittarius
Agree. The sooner you can accept no one owes you anything, in dating or in life, the happier you will be. You can't get ghosted by anyone because they never knew you in the first place lol. If I don't hear back from the girl I'm talking to I'll follow up with something short and non-needy like "Hi. You still alive?", "Bump.", "Hope you're having a good day!", Etc. People have their lives, and you and I probably rank #728 in importance, so sometimes they just need a friendly reminder.
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1
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Morgan
3y
ESTJ
Aries
Totally agree, sometimes looking at a phone is not what I want to do. Sometimes I do but I have things that take priority. (edited)
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0
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Abir
3y
INFP
Sagittarius
Preach!
2
0
Reply
Badet
3y
ISTJ
So true! 😎
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0
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Gizmo
3y
INFJ
Better to guid others with compassion and understanding. Theirs alot going on in the world. The Subconscious mind is a deadful affliction. guide them help them if they dont listen walk away ignore. Social media is always used as a device to vent on. People want to be heard. It is what it is.
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Ricco
2y
INFJ
Aries
You must also understand not everyone is the same , a lot of people connect easily or open up easily with people. When you meet someone awesome and they disappear and it keeps happening you'll eventually think your the common denominator. While I could careless and just move on a lot of people will have their mental lowered for a little bit. I also think there isn't much excuse to ghost. If your too busy to talk anymore make it known and part ways, Not feeling right ? Make it known and part ways. You can just send a simple message saying why you don't wanna talk anymore then block me and I'll have way more respect for you than anyone who just runs away. Funny thing is i was just in my college Communications class 30 minutes ago and Interpersonal Communication is Way more important than others thinkthink. I however do agree that people shouldn't look down on themselves when they get ghosted but it's nothing wrong with having feelings of hurt (edited)
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