It takes so much conscious effort to slow down my Te dom in full problem solving mode and think about HOW I can say it. The problem is never the WHAT, it’s only ever the HOW. The solutions I found so far are - speaking more slowly - using filler words (uhm, maybe, possible, idk) - asking “are we venting or are we solving” - telling stories instead of giving direct feedback (less confrontational) - say only half of what I feel would need to be said to give friends time to process - be gentle in delivery - use softer voice (I am a petite female but ppl tell me I am too intense/scary) This is only a challenge in my personal life, works like a charm in a business context though. What do my fellow Te Dom users do? What do other function stacks think could be a good idea? I want to improve my relationship with my friends who have different dominant functions and make it easier for them

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Sagittarius

For my personal relationships I assume we are venting at first, so I'll offer emotional support first then chime in with advice or ways to solve the issue after it seems they've been comforted. I also use a lot of inclusive language, which well for at work too. I'll end a thought with "what do you guys think about that? Any thoughts?" To make it known that I'm just offering a thought, not saying it's the right way to do something. I think the best solutions come when everyone contributes and this type of sentence makes it clear this is a collaborative environment. Also giving good feedback like "thanks for your thoughts x, I agree that.." That's mostly for work. For more sticky personal situations I'll say something like "do you think that could cause..?" or "do you think that ever makes people.. feel/do something" if someone is stating an opinion is disagree with. If they say no I'll state why I think it could or does. I also will offer supportive statements like "I can see how that could do x or y" positive thing too. But for the most part I just mostly assume we are venting and will start there with emotional support, then once they feel better I'll start suggesting thoughts from my problem solving side. I can get irritated sometimes like "well you have to make a decision. There's literally 2 options, do this option and this will happen, or do that option and that will happen." Sometimes people just need a kick in the right direction but overall I'm only like that if I'm irritated or it's impacting me in some way.

INFJ

I think you got most things right, except for adding uhms and uhs and other strange sounds. It's bad enough when people fill their speech with those unintentionally. If you can speak without them, that's a thing to celebrate. Also, "are we venting or are we solving" might sound like mockery, depending on how emotional the person is right now. If you suspect they are, try less pressuring questions like "are you feeling better yet?" Speaking of questions, confirming mutual understanding goes a long way when trying to guide someone. If there are several steps, ask people every now and then if they get what you're saying and whether they have any questions. They might have no context to understand something, or just struggle to keep up with your pace yet hesitate to speak up.

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What is Te Dom?

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I think you are on the right track. Perhaps getting perspective from interactions with Ti can help, since that will be seeing what you are doing from an opposite perspective

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I'm probably being dumb but I'm curious now. What is Te Dom?

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My Te is the third in my stack, but I still find this really relatable... My friends constantly remind me about my volume, and try to slow me down as my mouth tries to keep up with my brain's constant stream of ideas. I like your solutions. I would also add, think for a second and try to process your thoughts before letting them out. That's really helped me. I also try to focus on other people, and try to match their volume and speed to keep myself in check. My Fe and Se are quite poor though...

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